Be proactive, work hard!

It looks like it is going to be a busy month of July as I am planning to get two blog posts out so I can catch up with the missing one from May. The good news is that I have them both somehow started, the bad news is that I do not have much time left, just over ten days. No pressure on me! Nevertheless, I am more than confident that my commitment will push things nicely and smoothly towards my goal. It is a matter of being proactive, just simply talking or complaining will get you nowhere. Another dull and miserable evening, summer is nothing but absent; over half of July is well gone but still no sign of those warm sunny blue-skied summer days. One would even dare to say it feels like Autumn by just looking out the window, no wonder why I have a blanket over my legs. My usual cupán tae, my candle flickering away and raindrops rolling down the window. Ready to let words make sense so my blog can be published soon!

Being proactive has been a constant in my life, at least as far as I can remember. It is said that you cannot hurry things to happen, that you should let things be on its own way, that you might need to be patient and wait. I could agree to all of that but up to a certain point, although it would differ from my approach in life. Being eager and determined has worked out really well for me, it has taken me to where I am now. One could say that I am not that sort of person who sits and waits for things to change, who moans and protests about nothing changing, who cries and laments because things do not come easy. In fact, I am the complete opposite: I work really hard towards my goals, my projects, my dreams. The thing is that I would not be me if I were not working arduously. I am a true believer that being driven towards what you want, will you help to materialize your targets in life. Not easy that is for sure, but what else would I be doing?

“In reality, struggles are part of the deal, difficulties come along with you as a companion, hardships present themselves out of the blue”

I keep saying that dreams do come true, it has become one of my mottos. It may look easy and free of struggles, it might seem like a bed of roses and free of difficulties, it could appear to be living the lap of luxury and free of hardships. In reality, struggles are part of the deal, difficulties come along with you as a companion, hardships present themselves out of the blue. For some people (or maybe most people.. lol), the immediate reaction would be to grab a cupán tae, sit down and watch the storm from a distance. For some people (or maybe most people.. lol), the straightforward reaction would be to question the need of getting out of the comfort zone, as it would seem better to stay where you are. For some people (or maybe most people.. lol), the effortless reaction would be to simply just give up, no need for troubling yourself trying to make your dream come true. Obstacles are the perfect excuse for us to quit, setbacks are the right gift for us to throw in the towel, deadlocks are the needed push for us to walk out. Who wants struggles to live with? Who wants difficulties as a companion? Who wants to welcome hardships in? Surrendering can be the easiest way out. Not for me though! 

I cannot quit. I cannot throw in the towel. I cannot walk out. When it comes to my dreams, my projects, my goals, giving up is not an option. Am I too stubborn? Maybe! Although I prefer to see myself as someone who is proactive, hardworking and determined. I do not easily give in. 

If something is not right for me, I am happy to proactively work towards changing it. As I said, I cannot simply sit down feeling sorry for myself, I cannot accept that it could be easier learning to live with it, I cannot ignore the fact that it is not what I want and then do nothing. I need to be proactive. Eager and determined to shift the chain of facts in order to be where I aim to be, in order to be who I want to be, in order to strongly hold the reins of my life. I am not scared of doing what it may take. I am not afraid of working hard towards the change. I am not terrified of the hardships I will have to endure. Do not get me wrong, at times it can take a will of steel to be proactive, it takes a lot of determination not to give up at the first chance, it takes a lot of willingness to be true to yourself and do what is right for you. However, it is worth it! 

“at times it can take a will of steel to be proactive, it takes a lot of determination not to give up at the first chance”

Being proactive has taken me a long way: starting from scratch my own business, after an initial couple of failures with other wrong enterprise partners, and turning it into a very successful venture; separating from my ex husband, who sadly passed away back in 2022, after a few years of a very unhappy and unhealthy marriage, which had left me with a broken heart and soul; moving to Ireland after months and months of hard work, planning and making sure there were not too many loose ends so I could make one of my dreams come true; spending a few good years living in survival mode so I could rediscover myself to be able to shine again; coping with not the best jobs after moving to Ireland so I could  stay in the Emerald Isle; enduring fifty dates before I accidentally met my partner in Bloom; and much more. 

There are many ways of learning,  however, I guess we all learn from failure. If you think that everything is going to be incredibly easy as adding up two plus two, you are wrong. If you believe that there is no need for changes when you are stuck somewhere, you have an incorrect approach. If you assume that the comfort zone is the best place to live life, you will miss out on unforgettable experiences. My humble piece of advice is:if you feel like something is not right for you, be proactive, work hard and make it change! You will definitely not regret it. 

Jay Cee Moon ©

Follow your own path, seven years in Ireland!

Time does fly, doesn’t it? It has been two months since my last blog, which means I have not fulfilled my plan of getting a blog published every month of 2024: there was none in April. One could say that I am a bit under pressure, as June is about to finish, therefore not many days left to get these words written down. However, sometimes life has other plans for us, sometimes our intentions cannot simply go ahead, and sometimes we just have to accept that we did our best. I am confident that my eagerness will suffice and I will get this blog posted soon. I hope though, that my inspiration will decide to join in and give me a hand. I was supposed to be sitting down on the bench in our courtyard but it is dull and drizzling, although it is officially summer! My usual cupán tae, candle flickering away, let’s get down to business.

Seven years ago, on a day like today I was on the ferry from Cherbourg on my way to the Emerald Isle. I was so excited, so thrilled, so happy: my car was packed to the roof, plenty of adventures ahead of me, lots of blank pages to fill in, many unknown paths to follow, a great deal of hope to get my life back on track! The first thing I did after getting myself checked into my cabin on the ferry, was to walk up to the stern deck and watch mainland Europe disappear in the horizon. In a way, I guess, I was saying goodbye to what I had to leave behind, to what I needed to leave behind, to what I wanted to leave behind. The first thing I did the following morning was to walk up to the prow deck and watch the Emerald Isle appear on the horizon. In a way, I guess, I was saying hello to a brand new opportunity to be me again, to a great chance to rediscover what I wanted, to an amazing possibility of following my own path. I was brave to leave my comfort zone, I was strong to embrace the unfamiliar unknown, I was bold to listen to my inner voice and go for it! It still looks like yesterday, although seven years have gone by in the blink of an eye.

“In a way, I guess, I was saying goodbye to what I had to leave behind, to what I needed to leave behind, to what I wanted to leave behind.” 

I have no regrets, just that if I had not followed my dream and bought a one-way ferry ticket, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. My soul was in desperate need of finding peace, my heart deserved to discover true love, I was craving for letting myself rise from the ashes of my former life. It has been such an incredible experience to live, such an unforgettable rollercoaster of emotions, such an exceptional treasure trove of memories to relish. Probably words cannot reflect its whole dimension. I have had my ups and downs, away from my family. I have endured moments of solitude and despair. I have cried deeply, I have laughed so loudly. There have been times when I could not find my way, when I thought things would not work out, when I was close to giving up. Nevertheless, I would definitely follow my dream again, well worth the sacrifices, the struggles, the hardships.

It has been a journey for me to grow, for finding the true essence of who I am, for me to find out what I wanted out of life. It has been a path for my soul to conquer peace, for my heart to heal, for my mind to reconcile with my past. It has been a chance for myself to overcome loss, for myself to accept my mistakes, for myself to be free to shine for who I am. How grateful I am! A pilgrimage to rediscover myself, to regain confidence, to be simply me. Every now and then, I remind myself of how brave I was. Every so often, I say to myself that I did what was right for me. Now and again, I congratulate myself for such an amazing achievement. So proud of having been so determined to follow my dream! I was just rereading my blog on my five years in Ireland, as my partner suggested, and funny enough my words are on the same line as back then. At least, I am consistent. Not much has changed since then, although I actually thought the seven years in Ireland blog would bring a new approach. Despite having settled in the Emerald Isle, with a decent job that I enjoy, letting my creativity flow with my crafts and blogs, making the most out of every opportunity by being out and about, sharing life with my partner who accidentally became my soul mate, being just me; over the last two years, there have also been struggles. Those we all have to deal with, however having moved to another country has provided me with a great set of skills, with a massive injection of resilience, with the wisdom to stay calm and positive, with the strength to overcome difficulties without panicking too much, and of course with the ability to say “it is grand” even though everything is falling apart.

“ and of course with the ability to say “it is grand” even though everything is falling apart.”

You have to take a leap of faith and go for your dreams. It can seem scary, it can look too difficult, it can look like an impossible mission. You may think you will not be able to make your dream come true, you may believe that you are making the wrong decision; you may even assume you have just gone nuts. People will rush to judge you, people will dare to convince you not to do it, people will be people. My advice is just to ignore all I have just said, so listen to your own inner voice and go for it!

I guess it is time for me to focus on my next dream… getting a book published! Living in a cottage by the sea somewhere along the south or the west coast of the Emerald Isle will have to wait. On an ongoing basis, I have been told that my writing is outstanding, that I have a peculiar style that goes beyond the mere words, that I have a well of wisdom to share, and am a source of soul inspiration. I have also received a few orders for my future book, so I should start working on this new exciting project, shouldn’t I?

They say, “Future belongs to those who believe in their dreams”. However, I say, “Follow your own path, and work hard for your dreams” 

Jay Cee Moon ©

Look at the stars: mindful therapy!

If I do not get down to business and start working on my new blog post, April will be gone with the blink of an eye. Once you get back to the routine of writing, it is actually addictive and you often find yourself thinking of possible topics, noting down ideas, compiling lines from lyrics, from films, from anywhere. It is such a great feeling, your brain bustling away, your inspiration going wild, your thoughts becoming perfect sentences. I find it exciting trying to find the theme of a blog: it seems impossible, it looks like a dead end, it appears that you are out of resources, but then, a genius idea comes up and you can not stop mind mapping the topic. You can’t help but smile: you have done it again! Sometimes, despite all the planning and plotting, your inspiration decides to take you on a completely different track. These are the joys of writing, everything can evolve into something unexpected, anything can change at any moment, nothing is definite until you press publish.

Over the last few weeks, as time flies by, far too fast, the thought of rushing through life has me preoccupied. I am well aware that I cannot stop the clock from moving forward, I cannot stop months flying by, I cannot stop this fast speed train called life. However, I can make a real effort to pause and relish every second. This was the topic of one of my blogs back in 2020 (Carpe Diem), four years later I am back to writing about the seize the moment approach. It is always good for the soul to pause, breathe in and focus on the here and now. Unfortunately, it is too easy to forget to be present. Unfortunately, it is too difficult to remember to enjoy every moment. Fortunately, I can remind myself of the importance of being mindful.

There is no need to do something super extraordinary. There is no point in making plans for the best day ever. There is no use in trying to create the perfect ambient. It is simply a matter of pausing and being present. Those little things are the ones that really matter when it comes to being alive. It is easier to focus on the bigger picture though. I am making an effort to retrain my mind to stop, to pause, to relish as many memories as possible, before it is too late and I miss out on too many special moments.

Very often, I have to think if I have had breakfast or what I ate, even though it was just a couple of minutes ago. Crazy isn’t it? This is not because I cannot remember things, it is just because I was multitasking while eating my cereals: I was checking the weather for the following day, I was also adding stuff to the shopping list, I was deciding what to have for dinner, I was trying to remember what had to be done, I was talking on the phone. No wonder why I could not think of what I had eaten for breakfast. I was everywhere else except for being at the table paying attention to what I was tucking in. Such a terrible habit! Mindful eating: actively focusing on what you have on your plate and relishing every single bite. That coffee when you get to the office, that cupán tae after a long day away from home, that slice of apple tart you treat yourself to, that piece of dark chocolate you sneak out of the fridge, that delicious dinner your partner has ready for you. Do not waste them; take pleasure in savouring each bite, each sip, each spoonful. Be mindful and turn them into a very special memory!

The thing is that we are so busy multitasking that we miss out on those things that matter. We are too busy making plans for tomorrow, for the weekend, for the summer, that we forget to enjoy the moment. We are far too busy getting things done, that we end up rushing through life. Just simply stop, pause, and be present. When was the last time you took your time in preparing lunch without keeping an eye on the clock? When was the last time you made sure to enjoy your shower rather than going as quickly as possible so other tasks could be done? When was the last time you sat down with a book and got lost among its pages? When was the last time you played one of your CDs, sang along and danced as if nobody was looking?  When was the last time you looked at the stars on a summer night?

It has taken me longer to finish this blog than I thought. The thing is that I have taken my time; I had plenty of days left so there was no pressure. That is another trap, pressure to meet deadlines, urge to finish as many tasks as possible, stress to achieve what you are expected to. Pressure, urge, stress easily effortlessly lead you to forgetting about the here and now. Stop, breathe in and bring yourself back to the moment. When was the last time you sat outside in the garden to listen to the birds singing? When was the last time you made yourself a cupán tae and simply enjoyed it without your mind distracting you with your overthinking? When was the last time you went for a long walk on the beach letting the sea take your worries away? When was the last time you left your phone in your bedroom so you could disconnect? When was the last time you looked at the stars on a cold night?

We always think that we have plenty of time left, that we can postpone what matters until tomorrow, that we will get down to it when our current situation has improved. However, what if tomorrow never comes? Seize the moment, carpe diem to the full and embrace every single moment, every single opportunity, every single here and now. Procrastination, that old friend who always encourages you to postpone your dreams, your hopes, your plans. Regret, that unwanted present which will stampede into your life when you realise it is actually too late. Guilt, that feared gremlin which will join in to constantly remind you that you should have gone for it, that you should have not delayed it, that you have missed your chance! When was the last time you went for a drive without the pressure of trying not to be late? When was the last time you poured yourself a glass of wine and mindfully relished it?  When was the last time you made sure you had enough enjoy doing your makeup in the morning before leaving? When was the last time you went to the supermarket without rushing to get to the till so you could be back home to do other things? When was the last time you looked at the stars on a clear night?

Do never forget that life is too short, so make Carpe Diem your motto. Stop, pause and be present. Do never forget that tomorrow may be too late, so make seize the moment your motto. Stop, pause and be present. Always remember the importance of here and now, so relish every single moment. Stop, pause and be present.

Look at the stars on a cold clear night: my mindful therapy suggestion!

Jay Cee Moon ©

Out of the black!

Here we go again, I am writing. I  am aware that there are no rules except for the ones I set for myself, but last year was very unproductive when it came to writing. Therefore, I am determined to get a blog post out once per month this year. I did not publish anything in January or February but so far in March this year I have already gotten two out, which means there is a third one needed, hence me working on this blog. I know there is no obligation for me to follow my plans, but now that I have managed to get back to writing and letting my inspiration flow I want to stick to my twelve blogs for 2024, at least! The hardest part was getting back to finding a topic and starting to put my thoughts in writing. Plenty of ideas up there waiting to be released. It is a cold but beautiful early spring evening, it has been raining, however the sun is shining now. My usual cupán tae, a candle on the table flickering to the sunlight, my words and I. Let’s give my inspiration a chance to shine!

At some point last year, after meeting with a good friend of mine from my university years, I decided that wearing black or dark colours most of the time was not right for me.She was so confident in her own skin, she was wearing bright colours and not trying to disguise her figure at all, she looked stunning, she had that unique confidence glow. The darker scale of tones had become some sort of shield to hide my faults, to hide myself, to hide who I am. My body has definitely changed, due to age and other circumstances, unfortunately it will not be the same again but I now find it pointless to wrap myself in dull, gloomy, dim, lightless, cheerless, lifeless colours. Camouflaging behind blacks and greys is an easy way not to accept who you are. Our society, social media, as well as fashion trends are still too focused and anchored on perfect bodies, on perfect hairstyles, on perfect skin complexions. The thing is that in reality they only represent a minority, since the majority are nowhere near to those standards. I am the majority. So, I made a commitment to get myself out of the black. Pink is now one of my favourite colours, followed by light greens and light blues. I love pink, it enhances my beauty, it highlights my look, it empowers my “Brave” look. Whenever I go clothes shopping I simply look for those colours, it has been working out pretty well.

There are those who, by using the “I want the best for you” card, think they are entitled to judge you, not the best for me obviously. They are the ones who dare to suggest that you wear baggy clothes so you can hide your imperfections perfectly. They are the ones who negatively comment on that new top you proudly bought the other day by saying it does not suit you. They are the ones who strongly disagree with that tiny bit of cleavage being shown as it is not appropriate. They are the ones who are eager to comment on your hair cut and colour just even before welcoming you in. They are the ones who will refuse to accept that the woolly hat and scarf you are wearing go well with each other. They are the ones who are only happy when you wear what they got you for your birthday, since they know what it suits you best.The thing is that they do not realise that they are the ones who ruin your self esteem, the ones who feed your insecurities, the ones who make you feel so unpretty, the ones who make you go backwards on your battle with your own gremlins, the ones who simply help you to dislike yourself more. Caring people can be very cruel even though they do not realise. 

A few days ago, just before my big birthday, I treated myself to a shopping session, accompanied by my partner and my second mum (one of my aunts in her eighties). As soon as I walked into the shop I scanned for pinks, light blues and light greens. I ended up bringing twenty pieces of clothes into the fitting room, with a couple of additions from my aunty and the shop assistant which were not in those colours. Let the fun begin, I said to myself. After discarding half of them, I asked my partner to take pictures of the ten left (different shades of blues, greens, pinks, reds, and whites) so I could see myself. When I saw myself in the pictures I couldn’t believe my eyes: I looked so pretty, so different, so confident, simply stunning in my new favourite shade of tones. It was a great idea to have pictures taken since the reflection on the mirror does not show the real look. You could see that the dark blue top I had tried was simply too dark ! Guess what? The five winners were: two pink tops (one lighter than the other), a light blue long top, and a light green jacket and top. My new palette of colours when it comes to clothing does really suit me. The next step is to be confident to actually wear them. Happy to be out of the black tough!

My learned piece of advice: life is too short to be hiding behind dark colours. There are plenty of other options out there which will enhance your own beauty so you can shine. Give yourself a chance to glow, you deserve it. We are all pretty in one way or another, it is up to us to be brave enough to free ourselves from those gremlins so everyone can see the gleam in our eyes. 

Simply be you, do not let others judge you by any means. Never forget your own uniqueness.  Just get yourself out of the black!

Jay Cee Moon ©

Forty-three plus seven equals me

Now that I am back to writing I thought I would give my fiftieth birthday blog post a go. Not sure how it is going to work since I have been dreading reaching the big five zero (who does not?). There are so many myths associated with turning fifty that one can only think of being terrified of that dreadful day. And now, let’s face it, the day is finally here. It feels so weird though. When I went to bed last night, I was still in my forties. I woke up this morning and those days are gone. As simple as that, a life change that is difficult to understand never mind processing it. As they say, you are as old as you feel. Would it be too cheeky to say I feel like being in my late thirties? Or just in my early forties? Probably, but who cares. The truth is, I do not feel like I have to hide it, I am who I am, I am what I am, I am me.

Why does forty-three plus seven equals me? I was born and raised in Catalonia, where I lived for forty-three years. A childhood between the late seventies and early eighties, great memories, things were very laid back: one could entertain herself with some marbles, Playmobil (I used to spend afternoons and evenings playing with my next-door neighbours) and a bunch of collectable cards, not that girly but I never like dolls that much. My teens with the music of the eighties (music became my hiding place), going to the cinema with my mum and my brother, helping dad with his work, my besties (“Magnis”), busy with my group of friends out and about, school bullying (which was not recognised as such back then, so there were no mechanisms to control or even avoid it, therefore I was left at the mercy of the bullies), writing to keep myself sane, and a great deal of struggles to understand who I was, the odd one. When I was seventeen I spent a summer month down in Cobh, Co. Cork, learning English, and Ireland caught both my soul and my heart, the seed had been sown. Half of my adulthood, between going to the university, spending time with my family, working, caught in a traditional mainly male world, and then getting married, followed by a separation.

After all those years, I was still living with the struggles of trying to figure out who I was: my teenage years together with my marriage had left me with a great deal of unsettled matters, which had led to me not being able to accept who I was. I had lost myself in a maze of low self-esteem, rejection, and guilt for not being as expected. If I looked in the mirror, I was not able to recognise to whom the reflection belong. I felt hopeless, helpless and worthless. What a burden to carry on my shoulders!

On the first of January 2017 I was on the plane flying back to Catalonia from Dublin after spending my Christmas break there all on my own. That day, I made my New Year’s resolution: I was going to move to Ireland!  So, twenty-six years later after that unforgettable summer in Cobh, I packed as much as I could in my car and got on the ferry that would take me to the Emerald Isle, leaving everything behind so I could make my dream come true. My partner every now and then, asks me what I was running away from, it was probably myself!

I have been living in Ireland for nearly seven years now, hence the plus seven. Difficult at the beginning, plenty of endeavours, but the key to discover myself. A journey to understand who I am, a pilgrimage to accept the person I had been ignoring for years, a crusade to be proud of who I have become after all. I am who I am and that is all that matters. Ireland has gifted me when a chance to unleash my inner me, to be comfortable in my own skin, to just simply shine. It may sound easy to have achieved this but every now and then, I am reminded of the need to congratulate myself for all the hard work. I am extremely pleased to call the Emerald Isle home, because as I said in one of my previous blogs, home is where the soul finds peace. However, I am still proud to say that I am one of those revel Catalans who still dream of a free Catalan Republic.

I have written far too much about my life’s shenanigans, but I thought it would make sense to explain where I come from and where I am now, happy with me merely being me. Difficult to summarise all of these years in just a few lines, challenging at times to concentrate on the positive outcomes, hard to not to get stuck in a labyrinth of doubts.

It is time though, to focus on my fiftieth, isn’t it? Not sure if there is much more to say, rather than how lucky I am to be able to live my life the way I want, to have finally found my own path to walk and share it with those who want to join in in my adventures, to have the will and boldness to do what I love in spite of the hardships. Not sure if there is much more to say, rather than how grateful I am for having had a chance to discover myself, for having had the strength to carry on despite the madness around me, for having achieved plenty of milestones to on my wall of fame. Not sure if there is much more to say, rather than how happy I am to have been brave to follow my dreams even though when they seemed impossible to accomplish, to have had the determination to never give up even though when I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel, to have risen from the ashes like a phoenix. Thanks to my parents and family for always being there, thanks to all of those who I have crossed paths in a way or another, thanks to my partner for encouraging me to just be me.

I would like to finish this blog post with a toast to myself for being brave to follow my dreams, for being proud of who I have become, for being just me after many years of hiding. Well done me!

Jay Cee Moon ©

Out and about, in and around!

I am back! Although there is no way I can catch up with all my overdue blogs from last year and this year. I guess it is just a matter of accepting that sometimes life itself has different plans, that at times your enthusiasm may be tainted by a shade of procrastination, that every so often inspiration needs to be turned off to let your mind process the shenanigans of your existence. The key is to remain true to yourself and do not get lost in a maze of guilt. At the end of the day, there are no rules, no impositions, no obligations other than the ones we set up for ourselves. What really counts is the fact that I am here writing again, and a new blog will be out soon. Let’s be positive, let’s be proactive, let’s be creative. 

A year has gone by and I have not been able to sit down and write. Bright early spring evening, my usual cupán tae, a candle flickering away. My mind is buzzing with lots of words awaiting to be freed. It is great to see that my writing skills have not vanished away. The difficulty is now to decide what my blog will be about: too many ideas to choose from. Since my last one, there has been a clear constant pattern: get out! Despite the rain or the cold, get out. Despite the tiredness, get out. Despite the lack of time, get out. Despite what needs to be done, get out. Despite what holds you back, get out. Despite what is worrying you, get out. Despite not feeling motivated, get out. Despite not feeling like it, get out. Despite not having the energy for it, get out. Once you are out and about, you quickly realise that it is the best thing you could have done! 

I have been out and about, as much as I have been able to, no regrets. Because, it is so easy to get stuck in the thick webs of life commitments. It is so easy to become a prisoner in the cells of the “it is too late, I am too tired, I do not have time” excuses. It is so easy to forget that those little things can make such a big difference. On the other hand, it can be difficult to break free from the chains of our responsibilities. It can be difficult to escape from the ties of our job and housework routines. It can be difficult to stop and focus on the here and now. If you just carry on with your life, you may end up realising that the weekend is over without having recharged your batteries, that the summer is nearly gone without having packed it with loads of new memories, that another year is about to come to an end without having had a dream come true. 

Out and about. It does not have to be the most exciting adventure, or the perfectly planned day out, nor the best trip abroad ever. Simple things are the best treat for the soul. Simple things gift us truly enjoyable moments. Simple things make us feel alive. Make yourself a cup of tea and sit outside in the garden, I may have already said that a few times. Get in your car and go for a drive while listening to music and  singing along, probably mentioned that before too. Grab your flask and head to the seaside. Go to the supermarket and indulge yourself with a pack of dark chocolate biscuits. Go to one of your favourite clothes shops, pick up a few pieces and try them on. Get your camera and capture colours, shades, nature. Feel the rain on your skin, feel the sea breeze on your face, feel the cold give you goosebumps.Walk along the beach and collect shells and seaglass. Go to a second hand shop and search for treasures. Embrace the sounds of the ocean and let it carry your worries away. Out and about.

On the other side, I have also been in and around. It has been a difficult year for me, a lot going on: my body trying to cope with the stampede of changes, my mind trying to silence those gremlins of mine, my brain struggling to process irrational issues, me trying to understand that some things have changed forever, me trying to survive to the joys of commuting, me trying to be me despite the circumstances. There is no doubt that the shenanigans of my existence have kept me occupied and preoccupied. There have been days, evenings, mornings, when doing nothing and staying in has kept my insanity under control. There have been moments, when just going for a lay down has helped both my mind and body to restore. There is nothing wrong in not being productive all the time, there is no reason to feel bad about doing nothing, there is no shame in not being in the mood to be out and about. 

One could say though, that I have managed to find some sort of balance between being in and around, and out and about. At least, this has worked out well for me so far. It is not all about being active all the time, buzzing around like a busy bee. It is not all about relaxing and doing nothing all the time, sleeping like a sloth. It is in fact a matter of finding your own life balance: an ounce of out and about and another ounce of in and around: just my recipe.

Jay Cee Moon ©

Come on, let’s do it!

The second month of the new year is coming to an end, which means I am just a little bit behind schedule. As I was writing my last blog on the last day of 2022, I decided that I would have a blog out every month in 2023, at a minimum. January is said to be a very slow month, dark and cold, so I thought I would have plenty of time, but for some unknown reason time flew by very fast. February is a short month, the beginning of what is ahead of us: longer and brighter days. Therefore, I thought I would have more energy, and inspiration to write would blossom, but for some unknown reason time has flown very fast this month once again. The Christmas season seems so distant, the excitement for the New Year’s resolutions is well gone, and routine has settled in again. Here I am, finally getting my new blog ready, my first of 2023. My usual candle is flickering away, my cupán tae will keep me going, words waiting to be released. I am nicely wrapped with my fleece blanket, it is still bright outside, but the wind is bitterly cold, freezing!

The other day, I was going through the list of blogs I have published so I could make my mind up on what to write next. It was nice to pause, just look back and take in what I have written about.  It is so easy to simply keep moving forward, but at the same time it is so important to reward myself by looking at my achievements. I was lost on my own thoughts debating my options when my partner came in. After reading my list (he had no other choice as I had handed it to him… Lol), he realised that there was something I had not written about yet, my “come on, let’s do it” attitude. If anyone reads all my blogs, (who would dare to do so?)  I would probably come across as someone who likes to relax, who enjoys quiet corners, who simply sits back and watches the world go by. Do not get me wrong, that is me, at times. Despite relishing resting and pausing I have a passion for life, for being alive and for making as many new memories as possible. Life is too short, to just sit down. One of my mottos is live life to the full!

When it comes to pack special moments and experiences, I am always ready. When it comes to invitations and challenges, I am always eager to take them. When it comes to adventures and being alive, I am always making plans. Whether it is doing some volunteer work, an impromptu walk on the beach, getting the garden tasks done, having breakfast in the courtyard on a Sunday chilly morning, jumping on the car to go for an outing despite the heavy rain, tidying that room or those corners full of clutter, taking that unexpected turn to discover where it will bring us to, improvising a picnic for an unplanned day out, booking tickets for a concert even if it is late on a work day, getting ready for an unexpected cinema session, painting the fence out in the garden, booking a long weekend away somewhere quiet in winter (and then doing plenty of walking… Lol), candle light dinner out of the blue, following the less travelled road(s). I do not have time to procrastinate when life knocks at my door. It does not matter if it is cold, if I am working tomorrow, if heavy rain is on the way, if it seems to be late, or if I am tired, I will nearly always say: “come on, let’s do it!”.

I am determined to seize almost every single opportunity, tomorrow it may be too late. One cannot live a life with regrets. At times I may be wrecked, I might have had a busy week at work, I could do with a couple of extra hours in bed, nevertheless I will be all set for the next adventure in no time. I will be prepared to take the challenge. I will be ready to make new memories by enjoying special moments. My determination has allowed me to make a few dreams come true, plenty more to come. My eagerness for life has brought me on the less travelled road many times, loads more to come. My “let’s do it” attitude has rewarded me with a life packed with memories, tonnes more to come.

Big budgets tend not to be required, just enthusiasm, a little planning and lots of energy! Making and enjoying these moments do not have to be a big project, a massive commitment, an arduous challenge. It may just be those little things, which can me a massive difference in our lives. They make us feel alive. They bring warmth to cold days. They embrace us when life is tough. Smiling back to a stranger when walking to work in the early morning. Thanking the bus driver who has waited for you when you are running to get on the bus. Praising the barista who knows exactly what you want to order without asking. Engaging with the cashier at the supermarket with some chit chat. Writing a thank you note. Stopping to smell the scented daffodils as you walk by. Singing along while driving home after a long day. Just a random act of kindness. Let’s do it! There is no need to wait till tomorrow when you may be less tired, when you may have a better day, when you may be in the mood. Do it now!

It is difficult to put down in words the magnitude of my “let’s do it” attitude. It possibly intertwines with the old Carpe Diem. Whatever you want to do, go for it. Do not wait for circumstances to be perfect, or procrastinate your plans, your projects, your dreams. Do not procrastinate on going for it with those little things, those special moments, those randoms acts of kindness. Do not procrastinate packing in more memories, feeling alive. Let’s do it. Let’s make sure time is not wasted. Let’s flavour the joy of small achievements.  I can guarantee you that once you get a sense of the “let’s do it attitude” you cannot stop it! It is addictive, it is invigorating, it is rewarding. Without even thinking you will find yourself planning what you can do next.

It is now time for me to say, come on let’s do it, let’s get some rest.. lol

Jay Cee Moon ©

Be kind to yourself, or kindness to myself!

I cannot believe that it has been nearly four months since my last blog. How easily one loses lose track of time and gets caught on the naïve thinking of “I still have plenty of time”. How often we forget that time flies, it does indeed! As usual, my brain has been busy working on ideas for this blog, although finding the right moment to write it has been a bit of a challenge. The same happened to me last year, crafts took over, so my blog was left aside, although the topic was added to my list a long time ago, in one of our walks along the beach. Nothing new, nothing I did not know, something I had perhaps been ignoring. Hearing my partner saying that he was surprised that despite me being always so kind to everyone else, I was so unkind to myself which made me realise a blog on the subject was due at some stage!

Today is the 31st of December, the last day of 2022 and here I am writing away. Classical music is playing in the background, a red apple wreath scented candle flicking, cupán tae in my seasonal mug to keep me warm, hand knitted blanket by a very special lady on my lap, and with the Christmas tree giving the room a nice touch. It is probably the best blog topic to close the year with, and probably the best blog to open the door to a new year. Let’s allow the inspiration of writing do its magic!

Why am I finding it so hard to be kind to myself? I always have a nice word ready for others, I always praise others for their achievements, I always try not to be judgemental about others. But when it comes to me, kindness seems to be hard to find.  I am always harsh on myself, as if there is no need to be considerate towards me.  I always find it difficult to accept praise, as if I am just doing what I am supposed to do. I am always judging myself as if prejudices were all entitled to be there. Being kind to others is effortless, being kind to myself is arduous. Why do I feel my compassion for others is more deserving than my compassion for me? I have not found an answer yet! At least, I am aware of the lack of self-kindness. I guess I am on the start of the right path to learn how to be compassionate with myself.

I do think that there is a very strong link between self-kindness and self-acceptance. The happier you are with yourself the easier it becomes to be nice to yourself. We all have periods, days and moments when we love ourselves less. Tiredness can make one be seen with tinted glasses of judgement. Stress can easily mislead us towards a staged tragedy of unsuccessful mistakes. Low self-esteem can detonate a cascade of negative thoughts towards oneself. Worries can trigger an outbreak of mischievous self-evaluation. Loneliness can bring along an army of those old gremlins who loudly whisper how disappointed we should be with ourselves. It is hardly impossible to be kind to yourself when any of these are around! On the contrary, we are more inclined to be nice to ourselves when we are full of energy, relaxed, and happy. When we are having a great time, positive energy flows and leads to a volcano of self-kindness. Reaching the top of a mountain after a tough climb makes adrenaline kick in, possibly bringing along an avalanche of self-praise thoughts. Walking along the beach while letting the sea breeze take your worries away, indulges you with a rainbow of self-compassion moments.  Looking in the mirror with freshly washed hair, a bit of makeup, wearing that piece of clothing you love, gives you an instant boost of self-esteem which automatically takes you to being kind to yourself by simply saying “you look stunning”. Being kind to yourself gives you a special aura, that shiny glow of worthy self-awareness.

Get yourself a nice bunch of flowers, take yourself out for a coffee and a delicious pastry, do what makes you smile and shine, make the effort to congratulate yourself for an achievement, and remind yourself that you are worth it! Pause to reflect with kind eyes, flatter yourself when looking in the mirror, remind yourself that you are amazing, appreciate those little things that make you feel alive, and stop to praise yourself! Take time to yourself, embrace the moment of great success, hug yourself when feeling low, enjoy being on your own, and breath in the wonder of you! Just simply be kind to yourself.

Self-compassion needs to be practised; I know that. It will not become routine overnight, it takes time. It is not an easy task, but when practised it is worth it. As part of my journey to be able to be kinder to myself, I am going to wrap up the last blog of 2023 with a self-compassionate reflection. Congratulations to myself for all the hard work over the last twelve months, for having passed my one-year probation, for surviving the long commutes to and from work, for all the creativity which has lead to move forward on my crafting adventure, for the nine blogs published this year, for hanging on there when times were tough, for bringing enthusiasm to whatever I am involved with, for my determination, for being brave, for my kindness to others, for always being true to myself, for all the acquired knowledge, and especially for simply being me!

Thanks to my partner for believing in me, when I don’t. Thanks to all who have contributed to me becoming a better me. Thanks to all of you for reading my blog. Here’s to a 2023, full of new adventures, with plenty of choices to make new memories, and of course loads of inspiration to keep my blog going!

Jay Cee Moon ©

Fifty shades of dates!

After my series of blog posts on the Emerald Isle, which I truly enjoyed writing, it is time for me to go back to my usual sort of blogs. Over the last months I have been adding ideas, thoughts and titles for new blogs to my notepad, possible future blogs list is looking good! Busy months ahead again, that is for sure. Hopefully, I will be able to find enough inspiration to get them all done. Let’s have a cup of tea and get down to business.

I was determined to find that special someone to share life with. I had been single for just over a year, not too long one may say, but how long has one to wait to look for love again? There is no written law on that, well at least, I did not find one. So, after being in a very unhappy and unhealthy marriage, I decided to put myself back in the market, why not? Life is too short to be worrying over what others may say (isn’t that right dad!). I knew I deserved to be happy after what I had gone through. I knew I wanted to share my life with someone. I knew he was out there; it was just a matter of our paths crossing one day. What I did not know was how draining, demoralising and surreal to find a special person could be. What a journey! How I managed to go from date one up to date fifty, not sure. I guess I still blame it on my determination, my eagerness not to give up, and being a bit bold. She who perseveres, succeeds, lol.

I thought it would just be a matter of going on a few dates to strike the target. How naïve was I, indeed. I had my profile up in three dating sites. Date one, date two, date three … dates started to add up, but to my surprise, I was getting nowhere closer to succeed, at all. It was after a dozen dates when I decided to start counting them, just in case I ended up losing track of them. I grabbed a piece of paper and there I was writing down names after each number, hilarious! From ten to twenty, then to thirty, was I becoming a serial dater? I took a break, for a few months and then, there we go, back to dating and dating. Thirty become forty, with the blink of an eye. I then realised that I had reached the stunning number of fifty! In my defence I have to state that it took me nearly four years, from July 2015 to June 2019. If one does some maths, it works out as a 1.08 dates per month, lol. Well, if we deduct the break I took and the fact that I dated three of my dates for a period of two to three months, that goes up to 1.38 dates per month, still a decent rate.

Maths aside, the journey was a test in so many ways: self-esteem, patience, determination. It was also a master class on how to deal with rejection and rejecting, how to know what I was looking for, how to identity what I did not want to put up with, how to cope with frustration, and of course, how to escape from a disastrous date as quick as possible. Plenty of chancers, time wasters and cheaters. Plenty of rude men, ignorant ones, ordinary ones too. Plenty of them lacking empathy, energy, determination. The one who had uploaded a picture of ten years ago, if not twenty. The one who did not have enough strength to open the door for me. The one who at his late forties was still leaving with his parents and had no intention of moving out. The one who was sharing the house with the ex and her new partner. The one who was not able to add two and two or hold a conversation for more than one minute. The one who had addiction issues. And those, too many, who were scared of commitment. And believe me, when you think dates cannot get any worse, they do indeed. Rather than just a blog I could write a trilogy! On the other hand, I also met a few nice men, and made a couple of good friends. Including the one who introduced me to the world of Irish music, the one who encouraged me to follow my career goals, and the one who gave me great pieces of advice, and plenty of laughs.

It took me forty-five dates to be capable of deciding what I really wanted for myself and not settling for less. Date number forty-five was such a nice man, a true gentleman, we dated for nearly three months, but he was not what I was looking for. I had to break up with him, just to be true to myself. He was not ready for that, what we had was enough for him, unfortunately it was not for me. It was hard, but I had to. Proud of myself. The next five dates went from worse to worst. I was so frustrated, so devastated, so hopeless. Where was he? Did he even exist? What was I doing wrong? Actually, I needed to stop, give myself a break and just enjoy doing things again without being dating orientated.

It was a Friday evening, after a long busy week at work, I checked out what was on at the weekend in Dublin. Great, “Bloom Festival” in the Phoenix Park, I had wanted to go there for years so I bought a ticket for Saturday. Walking around gardens, plants and flowers would definitely do me good. As I was walking up to get the shuttle bus to the festival, the weather was miserable, dull, and cold despite being the first of June. Luckily the sun had decided to brighten up the day as I was wandering around the exhibition gardens. I fancied a coffee and a piece of cake. Glad I was able to find a table at the Phoenix café, because as I was looking through all the many pictures of flowers on my phone, a man asked me if the chair next to mine was taken, not yet I replied. I was well trained by then to the Irish way of sharing tables, lol. We started to talk about Bloom, plants, and flowers, and I ended up sharing my piece of cake with him. By default, he became unexpectedly unexpected my fifty-first date The rest, as they say, it is history. On that day I had finally found what I was looking for even though at that point I had not realised yet.

To all my fifty dates, thanks for the lessons, for the knowledge, and for the insights I gained a long the way. As one of my better dates said, I had to learn to enjoy the journey. On the most part, I did so, lol!

To my fifty-first date, thank you for being you and letting me be me.

As I always say, never give up. Life is full of surprises, whenever you least expected!

Jay Cee Moon ©

The Emerald Isle, my five years anniversary!

Today is the 28th of June, which means that five years ago, I landed in Rosslare!  This followed: saying goodbye to family and friends; an epic drive through France with my car packed with clothes, houseware, and some food essentials; tearful goodbye to my parents at the harbour in Cherbourg; a sixteen-hour journey on the ferry; I still can feel the sea breeze on my face while I was standing on the decks watching Europe mainland disappear in the horizon. The image of the sea waves and foam created by the ferry will remain in my mind forever. A rollercoaster of emotions and feelings embraced my travel. Excitement, worries, happiness, fears, thrill, tears. I was brave and bold. Despite the craziness of my decision, I knew I was doing the right thing for me. I woke up the following morning, grabbed a coffee and went up to the decks, and Ireland was just in front of me.

I am so glad I followed my dream and bought one way ticket on the ferry to Ireland. No regrets, just the fact that If I had not done it, I would have regrated it the rest of my life. It is not easy to go ahead and do what you want to do if you listen to what others says, or if you worry about what others may think, or if you focus on what will happen if everything goes wrong. I was in my forties, I had no job lined up, savings to keep me going for a few months, no accommodation sorted, just the will to give it a go. Ireland had caught both my soul and my heart a long time ago. I owed this to myself!

These five years have been an amazing journey, with plenty of ups and downs: with many great experiences and unforgettable memories made; with a never-ending list of places discovered, pictures taken, and miles driven; with lots of stories to remember, people met, and cups of tea shared. And at the same time, moments of loneliness, solitude, hard work, struggles, tears. Moments of not knowing what to do, where to go, how to deal with things. Moments of despair, confusion, helplessness. I can only say that relocating to Ireland has all been well worth it!

I have gained a place called home, where I can be just me, where my creativeness can flourish, where my soul has finally found peace. I have regained my life, so I can fearlessly follow the less travelled roads, so I can embrace the good vibes around me, so I can become a better me. I have achieved an outstanding milestone with these five years, which has allowed me to be proud of myself, which has entitled me to be able to choose, which has given me the chance of a new start. At the same time there have been some losses, I guess it is the price one must pay when moving to another country. Contact with friends has become scarcer, not being there leads to growing apart, nobody’s fault though, they are still part of my being somehow. The mourning period for family has come to an end, they are now living their lives without me there. What used to be home is now a place to go and stay. Things have changed, relationships have evolved, nothing can remain the same. I have changed.

My last five blogs have been a humble homage to the Emerald Isle. This one is a homage to myself for having made my dream come true, having been up for such an amazing challenge, for having achieved such an impressive goal. To celebrate and highlight this achievement, I have indulged myself with some nice presents:  a fantastic trip to Inis Oírr, we were gifted with a smashing sunny day while we could see the rain passing us by and heading to mainland; a new claddagh ring together with a trinity knot one; a crocheted green sheep by a local crafter ( we now call her Sheepy); a pendant with a message in old Irish – Ogham –  (my heart is in Ireland) made by a very special lady; a tweed hat by Triona in Donegal to keep my head warm; a handknitted green woolly scarf from the Aran Islands and a poster I found at the market in Bloom with the perfect message: born to be Wild on the Atlantic Way.

This blog is also a homage to those whose paths have crossed with mine and shared their stories with me, without them I would not have been able to write my last five blogs. To those who have helped me along the way, without them it would have been more difficult to settle down. To those who have believed in me, without them I would not be where I am today. To my partner, who has joined me in this amazing adventure. Go raibh míle maith agaibh go léir!

A new stage of my journey is now ahead of me, exciting times again! The opportunity of another five years in the Emerald Isle, plenty of more stories to come, plenty of more memories to make, plenty of more challenges to face.  I still have two more dreams to come true, who knows, may be in five years’ time I will have had a book published, or will be living in a cottage near the sea somewhere on the west of Ireland, or both. Dreams come true, you just need to be brave and bold to go for them. Emerald, the colour of hope!

Slán anois!

Jay Cee Moon ©