Be kind to yourself, or kindness to myself!

I cannot believe that it has been nearly four months since my last blog. How easily one loses lose track of time and gets caught on the naïve thinking of “I still have plenty of time”. How often we forget that time flies, it does indeed! As usual, my brain has been busy working on ideas for this blog, although finding the right moment to write it has been a bit of a challenge. The same happened to me last year, crafts took over, so my blog was left aside, although the topic was added to my list a long time ago, in one of our walks along the beach. Nothing new, nothing I did not know, something I had perhaps been ignoring. Hearing my partner saying that he was surprised that despite me being always so kind to everyone else, I was so unkind to myself which made me realise a blog on the subject was due at some stage!

Today is the 31st of December, the last day of 2022 and here I am writing away. Classical music is playing in the background, a red apple wreath scented candle flicking, cupán tae in my seasonal mug to keep me warm, hand knitted blanket by a very special lady on my lap, and with the Christmas tree giving the room a nice touch. It is probably the best blog topic to close the year with, and probably the best blog to open the door to a new year. Let’s allow the inspiration of writing do its magic!

Why am I finding it so hard to be kind to myself? I always have a nice word ready for others, I always praise others for their achievements, I always try not to be judgemental about others. But when it comes to me, kindness seems to be hard to find.  I am always harsh on myself, as if there is no need to be considerate towards me.  I always find it difficult to accept praise, as if I am just doing what I am supposed to do. I am always judging myself as if prejudices were all entitled to be there. Being kind to others is effortless, being kind to myself is arduous. Why do I feel my compassion for others is more deserving than my compassion for me? I have not found an answer yet! At least, I am aware of the lack of self-kindness. I guess I am on the start of the right path to learn how to be compassionate with myself.

I do think that there is a very strong link between self-kindness and self-acceptance. The happier you are with yourself the easier it becomes to be nice to yourself. We all have periods, days and moments when we love ourselves less. Tiredness can make one be seen with tinted glasses of judgement. Stress can easily mislead us towards a staged tragedy of unsuccessful mistakes. Low self-esteem can detonate a cascade of negative thoughts towards oneself. Worries can trigger an outbreak of mischievous self-evaluation. Loneliness can bring along an army of those old gremlins who loudly whisper how disappointed we should be with ourselves. It is hardly impossible to be kind to yourself when any of these are around! On the contrary, we are more inclined to be nice to ourselves when we are full of energy, relaxed, and happy. When we are having a great time, positive energy flows and leads to a volcano of self-kindness. Reaching the top of a mountain after a tough climb makes adrenaline kick in, possibly bringing along an avalanche of self-praise thoughts. Walking along the beach while letting the sea breeze take your worries away, indulges you with a rainbow of self-compassion moments.  Looking in the mirror with freshly washed hair, a bit of makeup, wearing that piece of clothing you love, gives you an instant boost of self-esteem which automatically takes you to being kind to yourself by simply saying “you look stunning”. Being kind to yourself gives you a special aura, that shiny glow of worthy self-awareness.

Get yourself a nice bunch of flowers, take yourself out for a coffee and a delicious pastry, do what makes you smile and shine, make the effort to congratulate yourself for an achievement, and remind yourself that you are worth it! Pause to reflect with kind eyes, flatter yourself when looking in the mirror, remind yourself that you are amazing, appreciate those little things that make you feel alive, and stop to praise yourself! Take time to yourself, embrace the moment of great success, hug yourself when feeling low, enjoy being on your own, and breath in the wonder of you! Just simply be kind to yourself.

Self-compassion needs to be practised; I know that. It will not become routine overnight, it takes time. It is not an easy task, but when practised it is worth it. As part of my journey to be able to be kinder to myself, I am going to wrap up the last blog of 2023 with a self-compassionate reflection. Congratulations to myself for all the hard work over the last twelve months, for having passed my one-year probation, for surviving the long commutes to and from work, for all the creativity which has lead to move forward on my crafting adventure, for the nine blogs published this year, for hanging on there when times were tough, for bringing enthusiasm to whatever I am involved with, for my determination, for being brave, for my kindness to others, for always being true to myself, for all the acquired knowledge, and especially for simply being me!

Thanks to my partner for believing in me, when I don’t. Thanks to all who have contributed to me becoming a better me. Thanks to all of you for reading my blog. Here’s to a 2023, full of new adventures, with plenty of choices to make new memories, and of course loads of inspiration to keep my blog going!

Jay Cee Moon ©

Published by Jay Cee Moon

Me? Well, passionate about life! And of course, writing, photography, nature, flowers, countryside, music, Ireland and so on, wouldn't like to bore you all to dead just with my intro! After many years of not being myself... I am back, willing to share those words of mine with you (writing to oneself is nice somehow but letting others to read and enjoy, it's priceless). I guess I will be changing my intro until it reaches my standards! To start with, I am happy! Enjoy my writings! There will be plenty of them!

One thought on “Be kind to yourself, or kindness to myself!

  1. You are kind, brave, beatiful inside and out, smart and amazing soul… You just need to remember it to yourself


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