The power of a thank you!

Friday, 20th December

December is here, 2024 is coming to an end, which means it is time for my last blog post. What a year of meeting deadlines, hoping inspiration would join me, and eleven blogs published! Despite the struggles finding the right topic to write about and some moments of panic thinking I would not have enough time to achieve my one blog a month. Despite the last minute changes of plans and life getting on the way with its twists and turns. Despite the difficulties of finding time to let words flow and feeling under pressure. Despite all the above, I have enjoyed the craziness of my commitment: twelve blogs in 2024. Moreover, I am happy with such a productive year of writing, with such a remarkable milestone, with such great success. It is a cold evening out there, wind is hauling, the sun is setting on the west, the rain is gone, and it feels like winter. Tomorrow is the shortest day of the year (“Grianstad an Gheimhridh”) and it will bring hope for brighter days, in no time we will notice the stretch in the evenings. My cupán tae as usual, the flickering candle on the table, blanket over my legs, Christmas FM on and my inspiration awaiting to be released. 

 “I try to enjoy the journey, keeping grounded on the “here and now”, avoiding getting lost in the festive season planning…”

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, the countdown has started for me, just five days to go. The festivities have finally arrived, for me! I know that you can buy seasonal decorations from the beginning of September, buy all sorts of goodies for festive days from early October, and listen to carols and thematic songs from mid-November, but for me, Christmas starts on the 20th of December. It is more than enough, there is no need for the madness starting just at the end of summer. Once August ends we feel somehow obliged to focus on the next stop: Christmas. I try to enjoy the journey, keeping grounded on the “here and now”, avoiding getting lost in the festive season planning. Today though, it feels like Christmas is here.

Time to remember that it is good to be nice and kind to others, not that we should not practice this  all year round. The true spirit of Christmas should not just simply be buying lots of presents, not even tucking in endless meals, or lighting up our homes with hundreds of lights. But thinking of those around us, offering a helping hand, being kind, thanking others, simply smiling: a powerful way of contributing to make this world a better one. The true essence of this time of the year, for me: the power of a thank you, the power of a kind gesture, the power of a smile. It is so easy to get caught in the swirl of the festive days, it is so tempting to just focus on the material aspects of buying stuff, it is so easy to forget what Christmas is about. It is so tempting to ignore those old values of kindness and gratefulness. It is so easy to give in to the whirlpool of consumerism. I always do my best to concentrate on the power of a thank you, a kind word, a smile, they all make such a difference, and they are free! 

“You will notice that people appreciate the fact that you took time to thank them…”

You should try it yourself: after buying the well needed coffee first thing in the morning, after queuing at the post office to send the parcel, after waiting your turn at the till; simply say thank you to the person who assisted you. After asking where you can find that product, after getting an order delivered, after getting an issue sorted over the phone; simply say thanks to those who helped you. After being served at a restaurant; after getting your hair done, after collecting your car from the garage; simply say thanks. After a compliment, after an unexpected gift, after a kind word; simply say thanks. And do not forget to thank that friend who called you out of the blue to check how you are; a family member for thinking of you by buying something they know you will enjoy; your partner for holding your hand when things are tough. You will notice that people appreciate the fact that you took time to thank them. You may even see a smile on their faces. The more you practise gratitude the easier it will become to be grateful and thank others. 

Tuesday, 31st December

Well, once again life has interfered with my writing plans, very much so: today is the last day of 2024! There are only a few hours left for me to get this blog out, I do love challenges, my inspiration works well under pressure, I am great at meeting deadlines (lol). It is a miserable day out there: windy, heavy rain and cold. Cupán tae, the candle flickering away and the Catalan cd that comes out every year in December to gather funds for the research of illnesses is playing in the background, and Smudge (our cat) is nicely curled next to me as if she wanted to keep an eye on my progress, or maybe she is just enjoying my company or the heat. Let’s get down to business and get this blog published.

“As I am literally closing this year, I feel the need to be thankful for so many things that life has presented me with in 2024…”

Just a few hours left of 2024, which implies the new year is nearly here. The power of a thank you is going to take a slightly different path now. As I am literally closing this year, I feel the need to be thankful for so many things that life has presented me with in 2024. The list is so long that it would probably endanger my blog being published today. Being grateful is a way of stopping, of pausing, of grounding to the present, rather than just looking ahead trying to get some sense out of your new year’s resolutions, I may think about them tomorrow. Today requires focus on wrapping up this year and being grateful for all my achievements over the last twelve months, all the great memories that I have managed to pack, all the old and new places visited, all the tough challenges I have had to endure, all the special occasions shared with family and friends, all the laughter and tears, all the walks along the beach and kilometres swum, all those little things that make life amazing, all the cupán tae and treats in the courtyard, all the music that has kept me singing, all those moments lived and relished together with my partner. 

Thanks to all my readers for their support, for their words of encouragement, for their compliments!

Thanks to all of you who have somehow been part of my 2024!

Thanks 2024 for being such an amazing year! 

Jay Cee Moon ©

Let it go!

When I thought I had plenty of time, November decided to simply fly. I only have two days left to get my blog post published in time to accomplish my goal of one post a month. I would lie if I said I am not panicking, that I do not feel the pressure, and that I will have enough time. However, my inspiration has not let me down so far, my commitment is always a great companion, and my eagerness will reassure my confidence: I will succeed! It is a wet, dull, windy, miserable, dark Friday evening: it is wild out there. At least, it is not as cold as it was a couple of days ago: no need to wear lots of layers, or keep topping up hot water bottles, or having the heating on. It is one of those rainy days: not as bad as it seems when one is looking out from the window. It is not baltic, simply wet. As usual, my warm cupán tae, my candle flickering away on a very special copper handmade candle holder, my inspiration knocking at the door so words can be released. Let’s get this blog number eleven ready!

Once again, I had another topic planned for the month of November. That was a long time ago, which means I have had time to discuss with myself whether it was the right one or I should be going for something else. In the end, it was not meant to be, who knows, maybe next year. It was not until two weeks ago, when I woke up to a completely different topic to write about: a big smile embraced me. Let it go! I guess, many of you will think I am a fan of the Disney movie “Frozen”, which I am not. Although it holds some really nice and special memories. The song from the film brings me back to 2014, when I was self employed with my own business as an English language tutor: a good friend of mine asked me if I could teach the language to her daughter and a friend, they were only seven years old. Well, how could I say no. Every Saturday, the three of us listened, sang and danced to “Let it go”. At that time it was more a torture than an enjoyment… Lol. Ten years later, it has become such a great memory, much more so because my friend’s daughter is now reading my blogs so she can keep learning the English language. Somehow, I am still teaching her. Isn’t that so nice?

I did not go with the “let it go” topic because of the song, not at all. Letting go has become a lesson learned over the years: we tend to be so attached to things, to plans, to people, that sometimes we are not capable of detaching ourselves by letting them go. 

“…we do not need that much to be happy and giving things away to others is very rewarding…”

Stuff. When I moved to Ireland I had to leave behind many clothes, housewares, books, CDs, and others. It was not easy, I wanted to keep everything, I could not help it but to think that the set of cups I had no space for, had been given to me by someone special; the candle holder was from a nice shop; the ornament had been with me for years; the blanket was nice and cosy; the pair of socks were so comfortable. I managed to keep it down to just a few boxes. I gave things away to family, friends, and charity shops. In the end, I realised that less is more, indeed.  During my first three years in Ireland, I was renting a room so there was not much space available for loads of my belongings. I went back to the basics: just the essentials to keep me going. I relearned to be happy with not having much. Those years taught me a couple of lessons: we do not need that much to be happy and giving things away to others is very rewarding. I have also joined the joys of “preloved”, “second hand” and “free to take”: rather than buying brand new things, it is great to give old items a second life; rather than throwing things away, it is great to give them to others who may need them. It is even better acquiring already used pieces of furniture, vases, lamps, they are full of character. 

“Every now and then though, my determination is joined by captain “let it go” so the failure feeling does not kick in…”

Plans. I am a very determined person, sometimes a bit too stubborn when it comes to ambitions, objectives, projects. I am also very hard on myself so letting plans go seems like I have let myself down, it feels like defeat. I know that my determination has been a great companion and has brought me to Ireland, has helped me in finding my soulmate, has guided me in my career, has encouraged me to keep writing my blog, and has taught me that abandoning ship is the last thing one should do. Every now and then though, my determination is joined by captain “let it go” so the failure feeling does not kick in. I do think that I still have a long way to go to master the art of letting plans go, but I am making great progress. 

“When you discover that you have the power to let go of those negative influences … you then become a sort of a superhero with a bullet proof shield...”

People. I will not definitely get to master the art of letting people go. However, over the years I have somehow learned to detach myself from toxic people. It may seem easy but it takes a lot of will of steel to disconnect yourself from noxious humans. When you discover that you have the power to let go of those negative influences around you, you then become a sort of a superhero with a bullet proof shield.  In the last couple of years, I have enrolled in a new chapter: the lesson of how to let friends go. It is hard to accept that you and a one time friend have drifted away. It is difficult to see that the bond that once united one to another is broken. It is sad to admit that the friendship has become a bunch of memories. Despite the sadness you need to let them go, because not everyone that comes into your life will stay forever. I can assure you that this is a tough lesson to take in. 

We believe that it is so hard to let stuff go but when we do so, a tsunami of relief, freedom and wellbeing embraces you. We believe that it is nearly impossible to let plans go but when we do so, a torrential rain of new opportunities soaks you. We believe that it is so hard to let people go but when we do so, a swirling tornado of new doors opening surrounds you. 

We need to let go to make space for better things to come into our lives. Getting rid of that jumper may give you a chance to buy yourself something nice, or simply enjoy the empty space. Acknowledging that a plan is not meant to be, may present you a new project to focus on. Letting go of that friendship that has drifted away, may surprise you with an old friend coming back to your life!

Let it go!

Jay Cee Moon ©

Pray, love, EAT!

October is nearly gone, which means I am well behind schedule, not even a week left. At the beginning of the month, I always feel confident with having plenty of time to think, to let ideas cook away, to phase in my writing. The reality, though, is that life gets on the way, time flies and inspiration needs to find its own way. Over the last nine months I have managed to reach my deadline, so let’s assume I will do the same this month (fingers and toes crossed). Another dull, cold, wet, windy and miserable evening, again. Autumn vibes seem to be tainted by some sort of winter notes, the summer spirit is far well gone. Now that the clocks have been moved forward, we are on an inevitable path to the lands of Samhain, where the darkness reigns. However, I am sure that with the blink of an eye we will be celebrating the winter solstice which will lead us to the Imbolc festivities. In the meantime, my cupán tae is ready, candle flickering away as usual, blanket over my knees. All aligned here for me to start writing, for thoughts to come together, for my inspiration to go wild.

“Eat, Pray, Love”, both the book by Elizabeth Gilbert (published in 2006) and the film starred by Julia Roberts (released in 2010) caught my soul a long time ago. I guess many of you out there, have somehow been captivated by Liz’s adventures. It is a fascinating journey, with plenty of laughter, lots of hardships, and of course, many pieces of advice. I have had in mind writing a blog based on my own experiences, probably since last year. Once I knew we had a trip to Italy booked for October this year, it was clear that “Pray, Love, Eat” would definitely feature in my 2024 blog posts plan! It is going to be my own version, as my life has brought me through slightly different paths. It will bring a new approach, since the course of my existence diverted from the initial story. It will be written from an unalike angle, from my singularity. 

PRAY. I did not travel to India to pray or learn how to master the art of mediation. I simply moved to Ireland so I could make my dream come true. I had not planned to embark on a journey of self-discovery, self-awareness, or self-reflection, it just seemed to happen without any notice given. Starting from zero in a different country, being far away from family and friends, having left my comfort zone; being left with my own company as my only companion. I had plenty of time to listen to my inner self, to find out who I was and what I wanted, to embrace my uniqueness. It took me nearly two years for myself and my soul to find peace. Endless days of solitude, endless hours of silence, endless moments of forgiveness. To my surprise, the Emerald Isle healed my soul. I wandered along busy streets embracing loneliness; I got lost and ended up in outstanding hidden corners; I learned to be mostly happy in my own skin. Not only had I rediscovered me and my internal being but many hidden corners of this amazing island call Éire, home to me. I do not think I was aware at that time that I was at a “Pray” stage. I do realise now, looking backwards.

“Endless days of solitude, endless hours of silence, endless moments of forgiveness…”

LOVE. I did not travel to Bali to find love, probably too humid, too hot and far too many mosquitoes to my taste. I simply went on fifty dates. Hilarious, isn’t it? It would have been better for me to go to Bali, wouldn’t it? I would only have had to put up with heat and bugs! Instead, I presented myself to a nightmare of dates, which ended up going from bad to worse. I already have a blog on my dating adventures (https://jayceemoon.com/2022/08/01/fifty-shades-of-dates/) so no need for me to go deeper in this topic. As Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book “People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back”. On my 51st date, it was actually not a date just a chance to have a nice day out in Bloom, I unexpectedly met my soulmate. 

EAT. I did travel to Italy! I simply got tickets to Sicily, as part of my special birthday celebrations. It has been ages since my last trip to Rome, more than twenty years. As my “Pray” and “Love” stages were covered, the next move seemed inevitable: il Bel Paese (the beautiful country) or lo Stivale (the boot) was awaiting me. As much as Ireland caught my soul, Italy has always had a special place in my heart: it is an amazing country, full of life, packed with culture and loaded with delicious food. It is not just about pasta and pizza, it is about sweet treats, ice-creams, vegetables, fish, sea food, rice, coffee and much more. We landed late on a Saturday evening in Palermo airport, and once we had left the suitcases at our accommodation, we headed off to have something to eat. Il mercato del Capo was right at our doorstep. I do not think words can express in full the very first impression as we walked into the main area of the street market: we were left speechless for a minute. And then, a volcano of sensations took over! It was so overwhelming: the smells, the colours, the displays, the variety, the chatter, the laughter, the madness and the chaos. We ate, we did, that is for sure. What else can one do while in Italy? Pizzas taste different, always dressed with fresh basil leaves. Pasta has so many different shapes. Caponata, delicious recipe with aubergines, olives, capers and more. Arancini, a ball of creamy risotto, breaded and deep-fried, yummy. Ice-cream, probably the best I had ever relished. Cannoli with ricotta cheese, pistachio, or chocolate. Nutella, that guilty pleasure one forgets about it as it is not good for the diet. But as they say, if you travel to Sicily the only thing you can leave behind is your diet! And of course, a cafe macchiato, cappuccino or whatever you may fancy, sitting on a square while enjoying the “dolce far niente” (sweetness of doing nothing.)

“if you travel to Sicily the only thing you can leave behind is your diet…”

Pray, love, eat: my own approach. Not intentionally planned, not fully aware of it, not as glamorous as Julia Roberts. Just simply me.

Jay Cee Moon ©

Dive in!

As usual, time seems to be flying, it feels like yesterday when I published my August blog. Surprisingly, more than half of September is gone which implies the countdown has started. Nine months out of twelve so far, delighted with myself but very intense, may need to set a new target for 2025: one blog every two months. Needless to say that my brain has been very busy plotting away trying to get ideas, words, sentences make sense. Even though I had all my blogs for 2024 mapped out, the one for September was not working for me, so a last minute change of plans was needed. A couple of days ago, on the way back from the swimming pool, with thanks to my partner; I found the right topic for this blog post: “Dive in”. For a change, it feels like summer today. What a stunning evening here: plenty of sunshine and blue skies. The Indian summer seems to have finally arrived, after such a long wait. No need for the blanket over my knees but my usual cupán tae is here with me to nourish my inspiration. Five days later, unfortunately, the glorious sunny days are over and autumn vibes are back. Hopefully, those warm days will keep us going when the low temperatures arrive later in the week. Enough weather shenanigans for now, let’s dive into the writing!

When people ask me what I miss the most from my country, Catalonia, I always say the quality of light: it is a lot brighter with a golden tone there. However, I also miss diving into water as I used to live very close to the Mediterranean, I was only a ten minutes’ walk away from the sea. Despite being surrounded by water, Ireland’s beaches do not offer the same experience. I have been brave enough to submerge in the Atlantic ocean a couple of times, on a summer day (not a typical Irish one), when the sun was shining and the temperatures were above twenty degrees. That was it. You will definitely not see me joining one of those sea dipping groups. Do not get me wrong, I really admire their bravery but that is not for me. A nice sunny day on the Mediterranean,, the sea breeze embraces you while diving into the salty water: what else can you ask for! But the thing is that even the Mediterranean was too cold for me in winter, hence the swimming pool becoming my best ally to get my head into water. I started swimming as a toddler (probably more paddling than anything else). I could not say that I have swum all my entire life, but on and off the pool has been a feature over the years. They say the ocean carries your troubles away but so does the pool, at least for me.

“That very first moment when you dive in … provides you with a stunning mermaid tail to shine”

That very first moment when you dive in is priceless. It feels like a massive wave of freedom embracing you with warm waves. It feels like time has stopped so minutes become endless precious moments. It feels like you hold the reins of a carriage called life. That very first moment when you dive in is so powerful. It provides you with strength even though your energy levels are low. It provides you with a stunning mermaid tail to shine. It provides you with the stamina to keep going even against the stream. That very first moment when you dive in is so invigorating. It gives you a load of “everything is going to be ok”. It gives you a dose of superpowers to conquer the world. It gives you magic fins to swim and swim. A boost for the body, and soul! The pool carries my troubles away, it frees my mind, it soothes my soul.

I know I am not an Olympic swimmer, not want to be one either, not at my age .. lol. Butterfly style is definitely not my choice at all. I occasionally may go for backstroke or breaststroke, merely when I am tired. I simply prefer freestyle, at my own pace, no rush, no pressure, no impositions, just aiming for resilience at a steady rhythm. I know I used to swim faster but I am happy with the speed I am at, at the moment. After nearly five years away from the swimming pool, the opportunity of going back swimming presented itself and I could not help it but to go for it (or dive in). In a matter of just a couple of months, I have built the strength to be able to swim between 800 and 900 metres three times a week: around two and a half kilometres! I just dive in and my arms and legs synchronise automatically, so I can keep adding lengths to my count. This is all that matters to me once I have dived in: simply focus on completing another round of four lengths (100metres). The thing is that the more I swim the more I want to swim. The pool carries my worries away, it liberates my mind, it pacifies my soul.

Even on those days when I feel extremely tired, when I feel a bit under the weather, when I feel like doing nothing. Even on those days when everything goes wrong, when nothing makes sense, when anything annoys me. Even on those days when my worries are overwhelming, when my troubles are too many, when my gremlins are loud. I know that I  need to go and dive in. The pool carries my gremlins away, it unburdens my mind, it comforts my soul.

There is also more to it! On those days when I am full of energy, when I feel great, when I feel super active. On those days when everything goes well, when everything makes sense, when nothing annoys me. On these days when my worries are  stardust, when my troubles are non-existent, when my gremlins are asleep. On those days, it is an amazing experience being able to dive in. 

Next time, when you feel the weight of your worries, the pressure of work, the stress of life, just dive in! And you never know, you may even dive into another adventure…

Jay Cee Moon ©

Bounce back, and back!

Time flies, this is blog number eight for 2024 so it looks like I am doing well at succeeding on my crusade of a blog a month this year. August is heading to its end, just over a week left for me to get the blog published. As usual, no pressure on me, however my inspiration seems to be reliable when it comes to writing, being creative and ensuring deadlines are met. A few weeks ago, while I was working on my July blog, summer was nothing but absent. Unfortunately, not much has changed, except for autumn deepening its roots: plenty of dull, wet and cold evenings this week thanks to the remnants of hurricane Ernesto, storm Lilian and plenty of bad weather warnings. Heavy showers at the moment. August is definitely heading to its end as I only have three days left. Fleece on, hot cupán tae, candle flickering away, blanket over my knees, woolly hat may be needed soon. Let’s get the bouncing going!

If things go wrong, stand back and simply bounce back. If your expectations are not met, acknowledge this and simply bounce back. If the worst happens, breathe and simply bounce back. If you fail, learn and simply bounce back. And, if life sucks, have a cupán tae and simply bounce back. That is easier said than done though!

Bouncing back is my best way out when it comes to disappointments, tough times and failures. Over the years, I have developed the ability to rebound when ordeals have gifted me with their undesired presence. At the beginning, overcoming these situations was extremely difficult; it looked like an impossible mission to me. I only wanted to feel sorry for myself, to hide my head under the covers, to embrace the unlucky me approach. It seemed easier to just give in and blame the whole universe for cursing me with such an unfair, undeserved and unwanted outcome. Desolation was so overwhelming that I could only manage to survive. Exasperation was so intense that I could only manage to exist. Slowly, I started to gravitate towards a more proactive attitude pushed by a survival necessity. Eventually, those days of self-pity and uncontrolled tears became part of a faraway dimension. Surprisingly, I had transformed myself into a sort of a ninja warrior, although my swords were just my persisting instincts, my insatiable desire to live, my strong determination to succeed, my stubborn self-judgement of not letting myself down, my eagerness to make my dreams come true.

If things do not go according to plan, plan again and simply bounce back. If adversities pull you down, stay strong and simply bounce back. If better days seem out of reach, think positive and simply bounce back. If a stumbling block ruins your prospects, throw some dynamite at it and simply bounce back. And, if life sucks, have an ice cream and simply bounce back. That is easier said than done though!

Bouncing back is my best way out when it comes to disillusions, challenging times and unsuccessful attempts. After discovering that self-mercy was not working for me, and was, probably, dragging me further down the well of lamentations; after realising that crying a river was only blinding me from embracing other opportunities, and was, surely, curtailing my chances of succeeding; after accepting that surrendering was a bad influence, and was, obviously, stopping me from moving forward: I decided that the best for me was to master the ability to bounce back. I knew that it would empower me to be brave and challenge myself to try harder despite my trials and tribulations. What a journey of hardships and struggles, lessons learned, miles swam against the stream, internal battles with those gremlins of mine, and plenty of tissues to dry tears of desperation. However, I made it through to the other side. As usual, well worth it! I am now a well-trained ninja warrior who has develop the ability (or shall I call it superpower?) of snapping back like a spring.

If things seem impossible to change, look at them from a different angle and simply bounce back. If it feels like you are going nowhere, get yourself a map and simply bounce back. If the fog has become too thick for you to see some light, shine brighter and simply bounce back. If you are stuck in a vicious circle, pause for a while and simply bounce back. And, if life sucks, have some chocolate and simply bounce back. That is easier said than done though!

Bouncing back is my best way out when it comes to frustrations, difficult times and unexpected defeats. I could say it is somehow addictive; I cannot help it but bounce back whenever life tries to shorten my wings. This self-defence mechanism is also a great tool to overcome all sorts of adversities in life. Far are those days of feeling sorry for myself. Far are those days of crying a river over deceptions. Far are those days of feeling defeated. I can proudly say that when it comes to rising above unsuccessful outcomes, I have endured a Batchelor’s Degree in resilience, a Master’s Degree in determination, and a PhD in ninja warrior superpowers. I am graduated “honour summa cum laude” in bouncing back.

And the one million dollar question is: how do I bounce back? After a few tears and a bit of complaining, I definitely try to avoid going down the rabbit hole of failure. Firstly, I try to give space and time so I can  reflect on what has happened. Secondly, I talk to some trusted people, my partner, a friend, a family member; however, sometimes it is just a random stranger I meet at the queue of the supermarket, my hairdresser, or the shop assistant. I listen to their approaches, pieces of advice and suggestions so I can be excited to embark on a new journey. Thirdly, I cook up my new plan by writing down a “to do list” so I can succeed. Once my list is in place, there I go again on new challenges along unknown paths.

I know they say that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. However, I would say that when life sets you back, bounce back!

Jay Cee Moon ©

Whatever will be, will be…don’t worry too much!

Only seven days to go before the month of July reaches its end, no pressure on me. Hence, there we go again. However, as I said on my previous blog, I am determined to get a second one published this month so I can accomplish (so far) my “one blog a month for 2024” commitment. It is a dull evening here, summer warmth is still missing, and dampness brings along such a sense of autumn that one may believe winter is on its way. Fingers and toes crossed, August may present us with long sunny spells, dry days and warmer temperatures. However, if you believe in those old sayings, hope may well be gone as it rained on St Swithin’s day, which means we will have to endure forty days and forty nights of rain. At least the grass will be green and lush, lol. Candle as usual, cupán tae as well… Oh, a slight delay, so here we are in early August as life had other plans for me, so a bit delayed, just a cúpla days. Let’s get down to business, my inspiration should do its magic and my blog will be soon ready.It looks like it is going to rain however we have been gifted with three days of sunshine, what a luxury it has been. Let’s get down to business again!

“Nonetheless, life always surprises us with its funny (or not so funny) twists and turns”  

The title of this new blog post may seem to be the opposite to my last one (Be proactive, work hard), but in a way it can be seen as the continuation, or the other side of the coin, at least that is my intention. One thing is being proactive so projects can materialise, another completely different thing is wasting time over analysing all the possible worst scenarios. However, I guess we all have the habit of overthinking, obsessing, and expecting things to go according to our plans. I guess we all tend to focus efforts on mapping out the course of our life. I guess we all work hard in order to follow the aimed path. Nevertheless though, life itself often has other plans for us. Nothing new obviously. I am sure I have said this already in some of my previous blogs, although I have never given the topic a deep full-on approach. I am also sure that many people out there have written and talked about this topic widely. I am even more sure that many of us have more than once felt the guilt of insisting on events following our own expectations. Nonetheless, life always surprises us with its funny (or not so funny) twists and turns, and we simply carry on. Although we may need time to process the course of life and realise that after our worries, our sleepless nights, our moments of panic, could have been avoided. Everything tends to work out well in the end, in a way or another.

Curiously, my nana used to sing me that old song from Doris Day “Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)”, which was released sixty-eight years ago. I may have been in my early teens and herself in her mid-late seventies; she had lived a life that was hard for sure: a world war, tough post war times, a civil war, a dictatorship, austerity, restriction and prohibition of freedoms, lack of food and resources, rationing of all sources, and then the new era of democracy. I was probably annoying her with my worries, with my thoughts, with my doubts and the song was her way of reassuring me that there is no need to worry too much about things. How wise she was! I had forgotten about this until a few years ago I heard the song on the radio, memories came back to life and I could hear my nana singing “que sera, sera”… I smiled. Wisdom comes with age, and with a life packed with experiences, mistakes and learnings. I was probably too young to understand what my nana was trying to pass on me by singing that song. Nearly forty years later, I am able to appreciate my nana’s clever piece of advice; I am able to comprehend that over obsessing will not make things happen; I am able to accept that there is no need to worry in excess. Nearly forty years later, I am capable of closing the door to overthinking, and over worrying, when these turn up; I am capable of embracing the twists of life as they come; I am capable of stopping the stampede of thoughts when things do not go according to plan. Over the years, I have learned to just simply carry on because whatever will be will be.

“It has taken me quite some time to …not to get myself entwined in the madness of overthinking”

I can assure you that it is not easy not to worry, not to overthink, not to obsess, trying to get things to go according to our plans. This may seem an effortless achievement, this might look like an endless battle, this could appear to be an aimless crusade. However, this may be a painful struggle to remain still. This might be a frightful labyrinth to walk through. This could be a dreadful experience to recover from. I have endured many moments of letting myself get lost in the swamps of worry, letting myself get overwhelmed with the chain of endless thoughts, letting myself get trapped in a swirl of obsessive possibilities. The sleepless hours I have coped with are countless. The worst case scenarios that I have imagined are countless. The stressful situations I have put myself into are countless. The exhausting marathons of trying to hold the reins tight are countless. The strenuous paths of overthinking I have gone through are countless. Ironically, in the end, it was all worthless! Because mostly, whatever will be will be no matter how much my one worries. 

It has taken me a few good years to truly understand what my nana was trying to tell me nearly forty years ago by singing “que sera, sera”. It has taken me time to simply let things be while not over worrying and obsessing. It has taken me quite some time to, despite working hard towards my dreams and projects, not to get myself entwined in the madness of overthinking. Surprisingly, in the end, that the time I spent learning and gaining experiences was all worth it!

My humble piece of advice would be that before diving into a pool of worries, make sure you (firmly) grab the “que sera, sera” float … because in the end whatever will be, will be! 

Jay Cee Moon ©

Be proactive, work hard!

It looks like it is going to be a busy month of July as I am planning to get two blog posts out so I can catch up with the missing one from May. The good news is that I have them both somehow started, the bad news is that I do not have much time left, just over ten days. No pressure on me! Nevertheless, I am more than confident that my commitment will push things nicely and smoothly towards my goal. It is a matter of being proactive, just simply talking or complaining will get you nowhere. Another dull and miserable evening, summer is nothing but absent; over half of July is well gone but still no sign of those warm sunny blue-skied summer days. One would even dare to say it feels like Autumn by just looking out the window, no wonder why I have a blanket over my legs. My usual cupán tae, my candle flickering away and raindrops rolling down the window. Ready to let words make sense so my blog can be published soon!

Being proactive has been a constant in my life, at least as far as I can remember. It is said that you cannot hurry things to happen, that you should let things be on its own way, that you might need to be patient and wait. I could agree to all of that but up to a certain point, although it would differ from my approach in life. Being eager and determined has worked out really well for me, it has taken me to where I am now. One could say that I am not that sort of person who sits and waits for things to change, who moans and protests about nothing changing, who cries and laments because things do not come easy. In fact, I am the complete opposite: I work really hard towards my goals, my projects, my dreams. The thing is that I would not be me if I were not working arduously. I am a true believer that being driven towards what you want, will you help to materialize your targets in life. Not easy that is for sure, but what else would I be doing?

“In reality, struggles are part of the deal, difficulties come along with you as a companion, hardships present themselves out of the blue”

I keep saying that dreams do come true, it has become one of my mottos. It may look easy and free of struggles, it might seem like a bed of roses and free of difficulties, it could appear to be living the lap of luxury and free of hardships. In reality, struggles are part of the deal, difficulties come along with you as a companion, hardships present themselves out of the blue. For some people (or maybe most people.. lol), the immediate reaction would be to grab a cupán tae, sit down and watch the storm from a distance. For some people (or maybe most people.. lol), the straightforward reaction would be to question the need of getting out of the comfort zone, as it would seem better to stay where you are. For some people (or maybe most people.. lol), the effortless reaction would be to simply just give up, no need for troubling yourself trying to make your dream come true. Obstacles are the perfect excuse for us to quit, setbacks are the right gift for us to throw in the towel, deadlocks are the needed push for us to walk out. Who wants struggles to live with? Who wants difficulties as a companion? Who wants to welcome hardships in? Surrendering can be the easiest way out. Not for me though! 

I cannot quit. I cannot throw in the towel. I cannot walk out. When it comes to my dreams, my projects, my goals, giving up is not an option. Am I too stubborn? Maybe! Although I prefer to see myself as someone who is proactive, hardworking and determined. I do not easily give in. 

If something is not right for me, I am happy to proactively work towards changing it. As I said, I cannot simply sit down feeling sorry for myself, I cannot accept that it could be easier learning to live with it, I cannot ignore the fact that it is not what I want and then do nothing. I need to be proactive. Eager and determined to shift the chain of facts in order to be where I aim to be, in order to be who I want to be, in order to strongly hold the reins of my life. I am not scared of doing what it may take. I am not afraid of working hard towards the change. I am not terrified of the hardships I will have to endure. Do not get me wrong, at times it can take a will of steel to be proactive, it takes a lot of determination not to give up at the first chance, it takes a lot of willingness to be true to yourself and do what is right for you. However, it is worth it! 

“at times it can take a will of steel to be proactive, it takes a lot of determination not to give up at the first chance”

Being proactive has taken me a long way: starting from scratch my own business, after an initial couple of failures with other wrong enterprise partners, and turning it into a very successful venture; separating from my ex husband, who sadly passed away back in 2022, after a few years of a very unhappy and unhealthy marriage, which had left me with a broken heart and soul; moving to Ireland after months and months of hard work, planning and making sure there were not too many loose ends so I could make one of my dreams come true; spending a few good years living in survival mode so I could rediscover myself to be able to shine again; coping with not the best jobs after moving to Ireland so I could  stay in the Emerald Isle; enduring fifty dates before I accidentally met my partner in Bloom; and much more. 

There are many ways of learning,  however, I guess we all learn from failure. If you think that everything is going to be incredibly easy as adding up two plus two, you are wrong. If you believe that there is no need for changes when you are stuck somewhere, you have an incorrect approach. If you assume that the comfort zone is the best place to live life, you will miss out on unforgettable experiences. My humble piece of advice is:if you feel like something is not right for you, be proactive, work hard and make it change! You will definitely not regret it. 

Jay Cee Moon ©

Follow your own path, seven years in Ireland!

Time does fly, doesn’t it? It has been two months since my last blog, which means I have not fulfilled my plan of getting a blog published every month of 2024: there was none in April. One could say that I am a bit under pressure, as June is about to finish, therefore not many days left to get these words written down. However, sometimes life has other plans for us, sometimes our intentions cannot simply go ahead, and sometimes we just have to accept that we did our best. I am confident that my eagerness will suffice and I will get this blog posted soon. I hope though, that my inspiration will decide to join in and give me a hand. I was supposed to be sitting down on the bench in our courtyard but it is dull and drizzling, although it is officially summer! My usual cupán tae, candle flickering away, let’s get down to business.

Seven years ago, on a day like today I was on the ferry from Cherbourg on my way to the Emerald Isle. I was so excited, so thrilled, so happy: my car was packed to the roof, plenty of adventures ahead of me, lots of blank pages to fill in, many unknown paths to follow, a great deal of hope to get my life back on track! The first thing I did after getting myself checked into my cabin on the ferry, was to walk up to the stern deck and watch mainland Europe disappear in the horizon. In a way, I guess, I was saying goodbye to what I had to leave behind, to what I needed to leave behind, to what I wanted to leave behind. The first thing I did the following morning was to walk up to the prow deck and watch the Emerald Isle appear on the horizon. In a way, I guess, I was saying hello to a brand new opportunity to be me again, to a great chance to rediscover what I wanted, to an amazing possibility of following my own path. I was brave to leave my comfort zone, I was strong to embrace the unfamiliar unknown, I was bold to listen to my inner voice and go for it! It still looks like yesterday, although seven years have gone by in the blink of an eye.

“In a way, I guess, I was saying goodbye to what I had to leave behind, to what I needed to leave behind, to what I wanted to leave behind.” 

I have no regrets, just that if I had not followed my dream and bought a one-way ferry ticket, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. My soul was in desperate need of finding peace, my heart deserved to discover true love, I was craving for letting myself rise from the ashes of my former life. It has been such an incredible experience to live, such an unforgettable rollercoaster of emotions, such an exceptional treasure trove of memories to relish. Probably words cannot reflect its whole dimension. I have had my ups and downs, away from my family. I have endured moments of solitude and despair. I have cried deeply, I have laughed so loudly. There have been times when I could not find my way, when I thought things would not work out, when I was close to giving up. Nevertheless, I would definitely follow my dream again, well worth the sacrifices, the struggles, the hardships.

It has been a journey for me to grow, for finding the true essence of who I am, for me to find out what I wanted out of life. It has been a path for my soul to conquer peace, for my heart to heal, for my mind to reconcile with my past. It has been a chance for myself to overcome loss, for myself to accept my mistakes, for myself to be free to shine for who I am. How grateful I am! A pilgrimage to rediscover myself, to regain confidence, to be simply me. Every now and then, I remind myself of how brave I was. Every so often, I say to myself that I did what was right for me. Now and again, I congratulate myself for such an amazing achievement. So proud of having been so determined to follow my dream! I was just rereading my blog on my five years in Ireland, as my partner suggested, and funny enough my words are on the same line as back then. At least, I am consistent. Not much has changed since then, although I actually thought the seven years in Ireland blog would bring a new approach. Despite having settled in the Emerald Isle, with a decent job that I enjoy, letting my creativity flow with my crafts and blogs, making the most out of every opportunity by being out and about, sharing life with my partner who accidentally became my soul mate, being just me; over the last two years, there have also been struggles. Those we all have to deal with, however having moved to another country has provided me with a great set of skills, with a massive injection of resilience, with the wisdom to stay calm and positive, with the strength to overcome difficulties without panicking too much, and of course with the ability to say “it is grand” even though everything is falling apart.

“ and of course with the ability to say “it is grand” even though everything is falling apart.”

You have to take a leap of faith and go for your dreams. It can seem scary, it can look too difficult, it can look like an impossible mission. You may think you will not be able to make your dream come true, you may believe that you are making the wrong decision; you may even assume you have just gone nuts. People will rush to judge you, people will dare to convince you not to do it, people will be people. My advice is just to ignore all I have just said, so listen to your own inner voice and go for it!

I guess it is time for me to focus on my next dream… getting a book published! Living in a cottage by the sea somewhere along the south or the west coast of the Emerald Isle will have to wait. On an ongoing basis, I have been told that my writing is outstanding, that I have a peculiar style that goes beyond the mere words, that I have a well of wisdom to share, and am a source of soul inspiration. I have also received a few orders for my future book, so I should start working on this new exciting project, shouldn’t I?

They say, “Future belongs to those who believe in their dreams”. However, I say, “Follow your own path, and work hard for your dreams” 

Jay Cee Moon ©

Look at the stars: mindful therapy!

If I do not get down to business and start working on my new blog post, April will be gone with the blink of an eye. Once you get back to the routine of writing, it is actually addictive and you often find yourself thinking of possible topics, noting down ideas, compiling lines from lyrics, from films, from anywhere. It is such a great feeling, your brain bustling away, your inspiration going wild, your thoughts becoming perfect sentences. I find it exciting trying to find the theme of a blog: it seems impossible, it looks like a dead end, it appears that you are out of resources, but then, a genius idea comes up and you can not stop mind mapping the topic. You can’t help but smile: you have done it again! Sometimes, despite all the planning and plotting, your inspiration decides to take you on a completely different track. These are the joys of writing, everything can evolve into something unexpected, anything can change at any moment, nothing is definite until you press publish.

Over the last few weeks, as time flies by, far too fast, the thought of rushing through life has me preoccupied. I am well aware that I cannot stop the clock from moving forward, I cannot stop months flying by, I cannot stop this fast speed train called life. However, I can make a real effort to pause and relish every second. This was the topic of one of my blogs back in 2020 (Carpe Diem), four years later I am back to writing about the seize the moment approach. It is always good for the soul to pause, breathe in and focus on the here and now. Unfortunately, it is too easy to forget to be present. Unfortunately, it is too difficult to remember to enjoy every moment. Fortunately, I can remind myself of the importance of being mindful.

There is no need to do something super extraordinary. There is no point in making plans for the best day ever. There is no use in trying to create the perfect ambient. It is simply a matter of pausing and being present. Those little things are the ones that really matter when it comes to being alive. It is easier to focus on the bigger picture though. I am making an effort to retrain my mind to stop, to pause, to relish as many memories as possible, before it is too late and I miss out on too many special moments.

Very often, I have to think if I have had breakfast or what I ate, even though it was just a couple of minutes ago. Crazy isn’t it? This is not because I cannot remember things, it is just because I was multitasking while eating my cereals: I was checking the weather for the following day, I was also adding stuff to the shopping list, I was deciding what to have for dinner, I was trying to remember what had to be done, I was talking on the phone. No wonder why I could not think of what I had eaten for breakfast. I was everywhere else except for being at the table paying attention to what I was tucking in. Such a terrible habit! Mindful eating: actively focusing on what you have on your plate and relishing every single bite. That coffee when you get to the office, that cupán tae after a long day away from home, that slice of apple tart you treat yourself to, that piece of dark chocolate you sneak out of the fridge, that delicious dinner your partner has ready for you. Do not waste them; take pleasure in savouring each bite, each sip, each spoonful. Be mindful and turn them into a very special memory!

The thing is that we are so busy multitasking that we miss out on those things that matter. We are too busy making plans for tomorrow, for the weekend, for the summer, that we forget to enjoy the moment. We are far too busy getting things done, that we end up rushing through life. Just simply stop, pause, and be present. When was the last time you took your time in preparing lunch without keeping an eye on the clock? When was the last time you made sure to enjoy your shower rather than going as quickly as possible so other tasks could be done? When was the last time you sat down with a book and got lost among its pages? When was the last time you played one of your CDs, sang along and danced as if nobody was looking?  When was the last time you looked at the stars on a summer night?

It has taken me longer to finish this blog than I thought. The thing is that I have taken my time; I had plenty of days left so there was no pressure. That is another trap, pressure to meet deadlines, urge to finish as many tasks as possible, stress to achieve what you are expected to. Pressure, urge, stress easily effortlessly lead you to forgetting about the here and now. Stop, breathe in and bring yourself back to the moment. When was the last time you sat outside in the garden to listen to the birds singing? When was the last time you made yourself a cupán tae and simply enjoyed it without your mind distracting you with your overthinking? When was the last time you went for a long walk on the beach letting the sea take your worries away? When was the last time you left your phone in your bedroom so you could disconnect? When was the last time you looked at the stars on a cold night?

We always think that we have plenty of time left, that we can postpone what matters until tomorrow, that we will get down to it when our current situation has improved. However, what if tomorrow never comes? Seize the moment, carpe diem to the full and embrace every single moment, every single opportunity, every single here and now. Procrastination, that old friend who always encourages you to postpone your dreams, your hopes, your plans. Regret, that unwanted present which will stampede into your life when you realise it is actually too late. Guilt, that feared gremlin which will join in to constantly remind you that you should have gone for it, that you should have not delayed it, that you have missed your chance! When was the last time you went for a drive without the pressure of trying not to be late? When was the last time you poured yourself a glass of wine and mindfully relished it?  When was the last time you made sure you had enough enjoy doing your makeup in the morning before leaving? When was the last time you went to the supermarket without rushing to get to the till so you could be back home to do other things? When was the last time you looked at the stars on a clear night?

Do never forget that life is too short, so make Carpe Diem your motto. Stop, pause and be present. Do never forget that tomorrow may be too late, so make seize the moment your motto. Stop, pause and be present. Always remember the importance of here and now, so relish every single moment. Stop, pause and be present.

Look at the stars on a cold clear night: my mindful therapy suggestion!

Jay Cee Moon ©

Out of the black!

Here we go again, I am writing. I  am aware that there are no rules except for the ones I set for myself, but last year was very unproductive when it came to writing. Therefore, I am determined to get a blog post out once per month this year. I did not publish anything in January or February but so far in March this year I have already gotten two out, which means there is a third one needed, hence me working on this blog. I know there is no obligation for me to follow my plans, but now that I have managed to get back to writing and letting my inspiration flow I want to stick to my twelve blogs for 2024, at least! The hardest part was getting back to finding a topic and starting to put my thoughts in writing. Plenty of ideas up there waiting to be released. It is a cold but beautiful early spring evening, it has been raining, however the sun is shining now. My usual cupán tae, a candle on the table flickering to the sunlight, my words and I. Let’s give my inspiration a chance to shine!

At some point last year, after meeting with a good friend of mine from my university years, I decided that wearing black or dark colours most of the time was not right for me.She was so confident in her own skin, she was wearing bright colours and not trying to disguise her figure at all, she looked stunning, she had that unique confidence glow. The darker scale of tones had become some sort of shield to hide my faults, to hide myself, to hide who I am. My body has definitely changed, due to age and other circumstances, unfortunately it will not be the same again but I now find it pointless to wrap myself in dull, gloomy, dim, lightless, cheerless, lifeless colours. Camouflaging behind blacks and greys is an easy way not to accept who you are. Our society, social media, as well as fashion trends are still too focused and anchored on perfect bodies, on perfect hairstyles, on perfect skin complexions. The thing is that in reality they only represent a minority, since the majority are nowhere near to those standards. I am the majority. So, I made a commitment to get myself out of the black. Pink is now one of my favourite colours, followed by light greens and light blues. I love pink, it enhances my beauty, it highlights my look, it empowers my “Brave” look. Whenever I go clothes shopping I simply look for those colours, it has been working out pretty well.

There are those who, by using the “I want the best for you” card, think they are entitled to judge you, not the best for me obviously. They are the ones who dare to suggest that you wear baggy clothes so you can hide your imperfections perfectly. They are the ones who negatively comment on that new top you proudly bought the other day by saying it does not suit you. They are the ones who strongly disagree with that tiny bit of cleavage being shown as it is not appropriate. They are the ones who are eager to comment on your hair cut and colour just even before welcoming you in. They are the ones who will refuse to accept that the woolly hat and scarf you are wearing go well with each other. They are the ones who are only happy when you wear what they got you for your birthday, since they know what it suits you best.The thing is that they do not realise that they are the ones who ruin your self esteem, the ones who feed your insecurities, the ones who make you feel so unpretty, the ones who make you go backwards on your battle with your own gremlins, the ones who simply help you to dislike yourself more. Caring people can be very cruel even though they do not realise. 

A few days ago, just before my big birthday, I treated myself to a shopping session, accompanied by my partner and my second mum (one of my aunts in her eighties). As soon as I walked into the shop I scanned for pinks, light blues and light greens. I ended up bringing twenty pieces of clothes into the fitting room, with a couple of additions from my aunty and the shop assistant which were not in those colours. Let the fun begin, I said to myself. After discarding half of them, I asked my partner to take pictures of the ten left (different shades of blues, greens, pinks, reds, and whites) so I could see myself. When I saw myself in the pictures I couldn’t believe my eyes: I looked so pretty, so different, so confident, simply stunning in my new favourite shade of tones. It was a great idea to have pictures taken since the reflection on the mirror does not show the real look. You could see that the dark blue top I had tried was simply too dark ! Guess what? The five winners were: two pink tops (one lighter than the other), a light blue long top, and a light green jacket and top. My new palette of colours when it comes to clothing does really suit me. The next step is to be confident to actually wear them. Happy to be out of the black tough!

My learned piece of advice: life is too short to be hiding behind dark colours. There are plenty of other options out there which will enhance your own beauty so you can shine. Give yourself a chance to glow, you deserve it. We are all pretty in one way or another, it is up to us to be brave enough to free ourselves from those gremlins so everyone can see the gleam in our eyes. 

Simply be you, do not let others judge you by any means. Never forget your own uniqueness.  Just get yourself out of the black!

Jay Cee Moon ©