Once again, the month has flown by far too fast for me. I am sitting on the couch, looking at the clock, it is quarter to seven, so not much time left to get my tenth blog post for 2006 out. I am trying not to panic as my last minute.com trend has become too usual this year. Each month keeps going faster and faster as if there was a competition on the fastest month ever. Four weeks go by in the blink of an eye, while I think I still have plenty of time. How naive I am! One day we welcome the new month, the next day the month is gone, just like that. I could blame the time driver for rallying through the year. I could accuse the calendar man of flipping pages before the month has ended. I could even hold the clock man responsible for fast forwarding the hands. The thing is that life has its own mind, its own clock, its own rhythm.
The weather has settled, after a wild October Bank Holiday weekend. Sunny, dry and calm today, not too cold either. One of those autumn days when one can enjoy the outdoors without having to layer up too much. T-shirt on, I was working away on my crafts this afternoon in the grow tunnel (late autumn and early spring the space is commandeered so production can be increased). What an enjoyable experience! Could not have been able to do the same last weekend. However, as the clocks have been changed, it gets dark earlier, the joys of bright evenings are well gone, it even feels like ages ago when the sun was setting after nine. Having Christmas decorations, gifts ideas, festive treats everywhere you go, does not help thinking we are moving towards darker and shorter days.
…The thing is that life has its own mind, its own clock, its own rhythm…
It is pitch back outside, curtains have been pulled across the windows to reduce cold and dampness coming in. The candle is flickering away on the table, together with some battery powered string of lights, brightening up the place. Cupán tae as my usual warm beverage to keep me going. Chief Superintendent Smudge the Cat is beside me, relishing the heat coming from the electric radiator, very wise of her. She has had a couple of bad turns recently, poor thing, so I am sure she is happy with us spoiling her while being treated as royal. Our little old lady, full of character still, is doing her best as she gets older. I am avoiding looking at her, just in case she gives me one of her disapproval looks to reprimand me for being so behind schedule. I would not blame her though!
On top of running out of time to accomplish my “blog a month” target for this year, I am facing the discomfort of not having been able to decide the topic of this October edition. I have been trying to find the right subject with little or no success. I guess my brain is simply overwhelmed with the load of information from my new role, with the daily engagement with customers (who tend to drain your energy – sometimes in a nice way), with my commitment to learning as quickly as possible and not depending on others to help me out. There might not be much space left for my brain to be plotting away what to write about. Thanks to my partner, although he does not know that his comment from just a moment ago has given me the inspiring clue to solve the puzzle, the theme is decided. The switch is now on and words are awaiting to be released. Let’s get down to business…
…for me, the equation of having time and energy equals doing as many things as possible…
After having spent nearly five years commuting and not having much time to live life, now that my commute is just a twenty minutes drive, I found myself in a swirl of packing my time with loads and loads. After having spent nearly five years getting up at half past five in the morning, I have discovered the pleasure of getting up at eight and having lots of energy. Surprisingly, for me, the equation of having time and energy equals doing as many things as possible. It is like a domino effect for me, once my body has more time to rest, I get myself into the madness of having a full on agenda; once my body has more energy, I get myself into the madness of not needing to stop and pause, once my body savours the endorphin dose, I get myself into the madness of buzzing away like a mad bee. That is me! This is what I do when I have time: squeeze it to the last drop. Gym, swimming, crafting, house chores, coffees out, the courtyard, walks on the beach, a bit of shopping therapy, visits to the local garden centre, more crafting, making plans for outings, cooking, and a never ending list! I recently watched a reel where the wife asks her husband to change a bulb that has gone off, and an hour later she finds him in the attic repainting the ceiling with the bulb still waiting to be replaced. How did that happen? I can perfectly understand it: I go into the kitchen to prepare dinner, then I realize I need something from the freezer, which I notice it needs a good scrub, once done I remember that the toilet upstairs was in need of a clean, which leads to me finding the clothes on top of the bed awaiting to be folded and put away; needless to say I then see the bin full so off I go outside to bring it to the main bin; on my way back i notice one of the plants wilting away… and then I see my partner coming towards me saying “I thought you were getting dinner ready”. I was indeed, that is my next task if nothing else gets in my way, lol!
…Ooops, I have done it again: been far too busy forgetting to make time to rest…
I could say that my active side goes wild, which means I easily lose awareness of not allowing myself to have some time to simply do nothing and rest. That is exactly what my partner said to me: can’t you see that you are tired? Those words have stuck in my mind as if they were a red warning. Ooops, I have done it again: been far too busy forgetting to make time to rest. I sometimes forget (only sometimes, lol) the importance of pausing to do nothing. Sitting on the couch being unproductive is not a bad thing, it is actually vital and badly needed for someone like me who is happy to be busy doing stuff all the time. So every now and then I need to redirect myself to being mindful so I can somehow stop, pause and recharge in a meaningful way. To simply enjoy my cupán tae without having my mind buzzing with my lists of things to do, to simply chat away with my partner without having my mind wandering to what needs to be done, to simply jump into the shower savouring the water taking away the worries of the day without trying to go as quickly as possible so I can get down to the next chore. After all of these years, it still amazes me how often I forget to practise mindfulness so I can refill my batteries in a worthwhile way. I know this ‘take time to rest blog’ topic has featured in quite a few of my previous blogs as it reminds me to do this, however it has not so far this year, my bad!
I will make an effort this week to pause and ground myself to the here and now, to focus on adding rest to my list of things to do, to avoid getting lost amidst the craziness of life and the importance of being mindful…
Jay Cee Moon ©
