When I thought I had plenty of time to get my ninth blog post out, September is after flying by and I am left with just a couple of days. The story of my life this year, running out of time. I have done it before, even with just a few hours left so I guess I will be able to succeed with my plan of a blog a month. At the beginning of the year, eager to write, with twelve months ahead, with plenty of ideas in mind, I volunteered myself to a very demanding target, may have to reconsider it next year, or not, lol. I guess that was me just being me as I love challenges, and pressure to achieve deadlines. However, I naively believed that having more time to myself as my commuting days are over, I would not end up having to write under my last minute.com. How wrong was I! The thing is that the more time I have, the more I pack it with activities, stuff to do, plans, adventures, dreams. That is also me, making the most of every second, willing to live life to the fullest, as when the time comes I will have eternity to rest.
It is wild out there, here in South West Wicklow, strong gusts and heavy rain reminding us of the winter ahead, what is to come. I cannot just say that it is just one of those Autumn days, too wild and too dark. Once can feel the dampness starting to embrace the late evenings and the early hours of the mornings. Once can definitely see days shortening as the sun sets earlier and earlier every day. Once can only try to hang onto the summer vibes rapidly vanishing away. This season can be a nice one, with sunny blue-skied days, with plenty of opportunities to still be able to enjoy al fresco meals. However, due to El Niño being very unsettled this year, winter may be around earlier than desired, harsher than expected. I have to say that I do enjoy the stormy days: the symphony of raindrops with the wind hauling, the choreography of trees dancing away with leaves swirling. In my world of tidiness, structure and order, stormy days bring chaos along, which I surprisingly like. At the same time, it looks like the universe is roaring its head off, endeavouring to get rid of bad vibes, which I truly relish.
…the symphony of raindrops with the wind hauling, the choreography of trees dancing away with leaves swirling…
My usual cupán tae, badly needed today I have to say. The candle is finally back, flickering away on the dining table making a big effort to enlighten the place. John Creedon in the background, with the perfect soundtrack for the evening that is in. Chief Superintendent Smudge the Cat is right next to me, tucking herself as close as possible to my blanket, she can feel cooler days around. One can tell she is getting older, she is not up to much apart from sleeping, her visits to the courtyard have become scarce. She does not seem to be checking on me or my progress but I should get down to business and reveal the topic of the September’s edition.
It could be the clock thinking away, making me aware of the lack of time before the month comes to an end. It could be fact that my brain is overwhelmed with information from my new role. It could be that inspiration is a bit slow at the moment. I can see my words clearly arranged in my head, although clarity on my speech is yet to come. I am able to visualise the structure of the coming paragraphs, although the flow is yet to come. I can picture my blog post published and ready to be shared. Despite all of this, I cannot find the right title for it!
…An anonymous quote that says that your impact on other people is bigger than you think...
I have been judged so many times in my life, whether it was because of my choices, my physical appearance, or simply for being true to myself. I have felt the devastating power of words from others numerous times, making me feel uncomfortable and unaccepted. I have endured the weight of unsolicited opinions devaluing my own on many occasions. An anonymous quote that says that your impact on other people is bigger than you think. Such a truth! We do not know what the other person is going through or dealing with, their luggage or their struggles. We do not take into account what effect of what we say. The thing is that people tend not to realise how their words can affect others.
…I am simply me, content to be unpercieved while I get along with life, in my little own world of tidiness and chaos…
Hence why at some point in my life, in order to protect myself from words directed at me, I became a quiet person, shy in a way (which many will not believe), who does not want to stand out, willing to camouflage among the crowds. I am happy to be unnoticed and silently do my best. Do not get me wrong, I like interacting with others, I can chat away for hours, however when it comes to being the centre of attention I would rather keep a low profile and be unseen. I do not usually tend to think that my presence might have an impact on others. I am simply me, content to be unpercieved while I get along with life, in my little own world of tidiness and chaos.
After nearly five years in my last job, I thought I would be handing in my badge and kinda disappearing without no one noticing it. How wrong was I! In my own quiet way, I spread moments of joy, laughter, messages of encouragement, valued pieces of advice. Me being me, without realising I may be influencing others. One month later I am still trying to process the amount of meaningful farewell messages. “You were always such a great help”, “…always being a ray of sunshine”, “you were the heart and soul of the unit”, “you’ll be missed, your cheerfulness, your creativity and work ethic…”, “thank you so much for the kindness, generosity and great humor”, “you were very good to share your wisdom and experience, without ever making anyone feel like our questions were silly”, you’ll be a big loss”, “you were the rock of stability”, “you a have a lot more to contribute to the Irish Public Service…”, “your vibrancy and lovely manner will be missed…”, “your good humour made long days a breeze..”, “you have been an incredible support and have encouraged me to follow my dreams…” So many kind words that I can only say “go raibh míle maith agat” to all of you.
In the meantime, I will keep being me, in my own little world of tidiness and chaos, in my shelter of being unnoticed, just simply me.
JayCeeMoon ©
