I cannot even think of the last time I sat in front of my laptop to write on my blog! The only thing that I am sure is that it was a dull day, I had my cup of tea, a candle trying to brighten up the room and my inspiration was on fire! It feels like a Groundhog Day as it is miserable out there, heavy rain, strong gusts of wind, my cup of coffee is here and so is the candle. I can feel that my inspiration is on its way. Let’s get those words make sense!
I though that once I had time to myself, I would be unstoppably writing on my blog. I guess my mind had other plans, I just simply got the priorities wrong. Four months ago, I quit my job. It was dragging my down and draining my energy. It did not come as an easy decision to make but I knew it was the right thing to do. Do not get me wrong, it was not definitely something that happened overnight. Plenty of hours invested in shutting up the devil gremlin which kindly kept reminding me I should not be quitting my job. But life is far too short to be stuck in a role which does not intellectually challenge you anymore. Not only was I demotivated but also wasting my time. I had no idea of what I would be doing next, I just needed to get myself out of there. Bravery and eagerness had won again! Proud for simply being true to myself.
So here I am four months later having finally found time to get down to my blog. Time flies, doesn’t it? The thing is, I have kept myself busy, doing what I had not had a chance to do for a long time. Spending hours in the garden while enlightening my soul with the sound of birds and the smell of the new blossoms; simply sitting outside soaking up with sun while relishing my morning coffee; listening to music and singing along, even daring to dance; being creative and eager to come up with new ideas for my hand painted stones; going for long walks as well as discovering hidden corners; ensuring to have time for my mind to rest; driving with no rush to the supermarket whilst that powerful song is being played; putting time aside to think and process those thoughts trapped in my mind; being aware of the importance of my wellbeing; smiling to the red sky at the sunset wondering what the next day would bring. The joy of being here and now!
Once again in my life, I stepped out of my comfort zone. It may be addictive. The power of having the reins of your life is priceless. It is like being on a rollercoaster and feeling the adrenaline running all over your body. Scary at the same time though as unexplored paths can be foggy, steep and narrow. But once you have done it, you feel you can do it again since the fears are less. The comfort of the known unknown. Being aware of my own limits as well as strengths has guided me along the journey and made it a bit easier. Being able to handle those old gremlins of mine has loosened the ties of my self-judgement. Being capable of savouring each step I have taken has been the perfect icing on my cake.
As I am moving forward along the path, the fog seems to be vanishing. I still cannot see the end but that is fine. When needed I stop, to savour the views of the path I have already walked, to appreciate where I am now, to embrace what is ahead of me. When needed I take a deep breath, to recover from those steep steps, to take in what is around me, to charge batteries for the next steps. When needed I give myself a tap on the shoulder for what I have already achieved, for me to enjoy the present moment, for me to gain strength to continue my path. Despite not knowing where I am going yet I am sure that I will end up finding that turn which is awaiting me somewhere along the way.
Four months ago, I decided to follow an unknown path… I still do not know where it will take me to, but I will keep enjoying every single second of it. As someone once said, it is not the destination but the journey!
Jay Cee Moon ©