We so often become our worst critics, so inflexible, so ruthless, so harsh. We so often forget to be kind to ourselves. We so often ignore our uniqueness, our beauty, our bright aura!
It has been a while since this blog has been playing on my mind, I guess I was not ready. I could even dare to say the brave girl in me was scared. Is it such a big deal? Or am I making it such a massive ordeal? When one is used to being unkind to oneself it becomes such a deep-rooted habit that it feels weird to just be nice. I am pretty, I am sexy, I am me!
A few weeks later here I am back to what I was supposed to have published but still unfinished! It is 31st of December, back to lockdown and it is snowing. Hopefully, the magic of the scenery outside will lead my words to my last blog of 2020!
Why am I so hard on myself? Why can I not see the beauty on me? Why do I get trapped with the stereotypes of a society that enhances the majority? We are told to be like the models on the magazines, to be what our parents think it matches the standards of the multitude, to become prisoners of a successful well-paid job? We are asked to follow the patterns, to obey the rules of normality, to not get off the beaten track, to stuck with what the rest considers acceptable, to adhere to social requirements, to get rid of what makes us unique, to give up our crazy dreams, not to quit that job we hate because it pays the bills. We are just asked to be like the crowd and by doing that we bury our individuality.
The world keeps reminding us that we are not beautiful, not sexy, not worth it; that we are too fat, too distinct, too nerd; not intelligent enough, not capable enough, not suitable enough. Sadly, we do believe we are too different to fit in. Focusing on suiting takes us to the madness of losing ourselves. But the thing is: does it really matters? We are what we are, I am what I am!
Not sure if all of this leads to where I want to, I may have probably been going round in circles to avoid facing those gremlins of mine. I often look at the mirror to only see a mid forties overweight woman not pretty enough. How cruel is that! These words, these thoughts, there beliefs just darken my aura, just kill my worth, just bury my potential. Why cannot I be nice to myself? If I look at the mirror again with a smile on my face while reminding me that I am pretty, I am sexy… my own reflection changes completely. A simple smile, a kind gesture, just a wink, a tap on my shoulders… can uplift my morale so I am able to see my beauty!
2020 is coming to an end, just a few hours left, maybe time for my new year’s resolutions? Be kind to myself by looking at the mirror and being able to strongly confidently say: I am pretty, I am sexy, I am me!
For those out there struggling to see their own beauty… Despite what others say, we are all beautiful. Behind those extra pounds, that peculiar way of dressing, the weight of the years one has lived, there is always a pretty human being.
Get “I am what I am” by Gloria Gaynor ready, turn the volume up and feel the prettiness, the sexiness embracing you! You are special, you are talented, you are unique.
I am pretty, I am sexy, I am me. I am proud of myself!
Jay Cee Moon ©