Unexpectedly unexpected, when you will think there is no hope left, life will surprise you with a change!
At the beginning of the week,I realised that July was about to come to an end. Not sure what has happened this month but time seems to have simply slipped by through the good weather spell. I would not blame anyone for wanting to be outdoors enjoying the heat and soaking up the sun, nor would I blame myself. That is exactly what I have been doing for the last four weeks, too busy relishing the joys of being outside, gardening, harvesting our crops, enduring the nice presence of those little feckers called horseflies, struggling to get some decent sleep, and of course, letting the sun embrace me. On Monday, I naively thought I still had plenty of time to meet my goal of one blog post a month. It is Friday today, I am sitting in Salthill promenade trying not to panic but I can feel the pressure running through my veins, as I have less than twenty-four hours to get this blog post finished and published. Let’s hope the fragrance of the Wild Atlantic Ocean, together with the serenity of Galway Bay, make my inspiration bloom away!
No cupán tae today, instead a nice coffee in a cafe on the promenade with stunning views of the bay. No candle needed, just the breeze from the ocean dancing through my hair. No blanket either, just a summer hat to shelter from the sunrays. Chief Superintendent Smudge the Cat is not next to me, too old to travel with us; I am sure she is angry at the moment because her two slaves have abandoned her and no one is attending to her royal highness needs.
After such a wet, miserable and cold spring, with loads of rain and grey cloudy days, hardly any sunshine, June brought the same sort of weather, so that winter feeling could linger on for a while. And when we thought summer would never arrive, the heat kicked in! Hardly no rain since the end of June, a bit of drizzle here and there, nothing substantial though. High temperatures, warm nights, no rain. Hosepipe ban, water restrictions, wildfires. I guess one needs to be careful what to wish for. The thing is that Autumn is round the corner, and the warm weather will soon be seen as a far away memory. Let’s keep fingers and toes crossed, so this nice spell stays for a bit longer.
I had no idea what to write about this month, could not get my head around anything exciting or different. However, ten days ago unexpectedly some event inspired me. Needless to say I was delighted that when I thought I was stuck in the struggles, a new topic was presented to me. When you think there is no hope, life surprises you with that chance you have been waiting for. When you think nothing is going to change, life gifts you a new opportunity. When you think there is nothing else you can do for things to shift, life offers you a chance.
When I first moved to Ireland, I had no job. I spent the first two months applying to everything that was available. I send my CV to every single recruitment agency. I spent hours and hours looking for jobs. But nothing. I was only getting the usual “we regret to tell you that…” at the best, otherwise there were no replies. I kept trying, and trying and trying again, but nothing. I did not want to give up on my dream of moving to Ireland, I did not want to go back to Catalonia, I did not want to accept that I had failed. My savings were going low, when you are not working, money tends to vanish faster. I had only bought a one way ticket to the Emerald Isle. I was not ready to accept the defeat. My hope was diminishing, it was hard to keep the spirits up. When I thought there was no hope left, I was offered a job!
After my marriage had become a big mistake, I was determined to find true love. What I thought would be a matter of time to find the right person, ended up being a crusade of dates, and more dates and even more dates. I could not believe how hard it was to actually find that special connection, that spark, that life companion. So I ended up going on fifty dates, what else could I do? It was hard, devastating and frustrating. It was draining, demoralising and depressing. I took breaks of weeks or even months, however I could see I was going nowhere. Well, I was probably going to drive myself nuts as dates were getting worse and worse. All sorts of time wasters, Peter Pans, those only interested in having fun. But nothing worth it. I kept finding myself trapped in a date with a fella who I had nothing in common with, who could not hold a conversation, who I could not be simply me. When I thought there was no hope left, I accidentally met my soul mate at the Bloom Festival in the Phoenix Park the first of June seven years ago.
Nearly five years ago I got a job in Dublin city centre, a great opportunity that I could not refuse, it came with a burden: long commutes. It was grand at the beginning, although after a harsh winter reality set in, the picture of the years ahead was horrendous. Early mornings also joined in (5:30am), stuck in traffic for ages, getting home late in the evening 6:30pm on a good day). I found myself wasting my time in the car. I did really enjoy my job, so I said to myself it is what it is, just keep going, one day I might get a transfer closer to home. Winter number three arrived, and then number four, my commute was getting longer and longer, my energy levels were less and less. No life apart from early nights, early starts, long days. I felt like a hamster on a wheel, going round and round and round, not being able to break the circle and step out. When I thought there was no hope left, the offer for a transfer came in.
When you feel like surrendering, do not give up. Stay strong, allow yourself to have your low moments, embrace the frustration. When you feel like giving in, simply keep going on. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are entitled to pause, do not rush to make decisions. When you feel like quitting, sleep on it. It will be easier in the morning, a new day may offer a different approach, let’s see what the day brings. And then…Unexpectedly unexpected, when you will think there is no hope left, life will surprise you with a change!
Jay Cee Moon ©
Jaycee Moon 