I thought I would start this second blog post of the year by ranting on about the weather, very Irish indeed. Another miserable evening again, dull, wet, damp, grey, dark. One cannot help it but think that Imbolc never happened this year, that Saint Brigid took off to the Caribbean, that the Child of Prague has run away to sunnier shores. One cannot help it but wonder if we will ever see the sun again, if good weather has broken up with the Emerald Isle, if clouds will step aside to let blue skies in. One cannot help it but feel like screaming loudly “for fox sake” no more rain, feel like buying a one way ticket to the Sahara desert and roast, feel like acquiring a boat because we will soon be sailing down the road. At least the grass will be greener than ever, the blooms will surely be prettier than ever, and the soil will be wetter than ever. Needless to say I have stopped counting the consecutive days of rain we have endured so far. May March bring a bit of hope.
…One cannot help it but feel like screaming loudly “for fox sake” no more rain…
Pushing it a bit to the limit this month of blog writing this month as today seems to be the last day of February, the shortest month of the year, which means I have had two days less to publish my monthly publication, using this as a reasonable excuse for my last minute blog post, lol. Yes, I have to admit I have committed myself to twelve of them this year, so far so good I would dare to say. Time will tell if I have embarked into an unreachable mission. I have worked on this topic a few times over the last couple of years, although I have never managed to make much progress, always leaving it for another time as something better has come up. Determined to cross it out of my list this year, finally a successful outcome. I guess, I do forget that sometimes ideas need their own time, they cook away on the back of the mind for a while before they are ready to be released into paper. This idea has been around for too long now, so let’s get down to writing.
My cupán tae agus a cúpla biscuits (trying to cheer me up, pretending it was a lovely sunny evening here in South West Wicklow), the usual candle dimly flickering away as it has given up trying to brighten up the room (far too dull out there again), the Chief Superintendent Smudge the cat is snuggled in next to me trying to soak up as much as heat as possible (the poor thing is too old for such miserable weather), I can tell she has had enough of rain and dampness too, she has not even ventured it to the window still yet so far this year (nothing exciting happening outside worthy enough to abandon comfort). Let’s hope the dullness of winter still lingering around will not interfere with my bright inspiration…
…it is a matter of plucking up the courage and carrying on…
I do not want to do it, but I know I have to do it, so I will do it! We all have been there plenty of times, haven’t we? It may be the influence of the horrendous weather we have been enduring since last November that has me motivated to focus on this topic! I am aware though, that my posts usually tend to be positive, making things look easy, as if I have everything down to a ‘T’ when it comes to difficult situations, as if I effortlessly sail through life being completely oblivious to obstacles, as if I am always wearing some sort of a bulletproof costume to protect me from those gremlins of mine. However, there are times though when struggles impose their harshness on me, making me feel resourceless; there are moments though when strengths abandon ship leaving me adrift to my own demons; there are occasions though when hope seems to vanish away pushing me to desperado land. I do sometimes get fed up with that feeling of nothing changing, being stuck in a swirl of a groundhog day again and again. I do occasionally use up my resilience tools power, being stuck in a vicious circle of hopeless hopes. I do every now and then get tired of keep trying, being stuck in a catch twenty-two scenario of demotivation. I used to feel like I had let myself down but time has taught me that there is nothing wrong with these moments of weakness, it is a matter of plucking up the courage and carrying on.
If there was a real choice I would not say goodbye to my parents at the bus stop, and would definitely stay a bit longer, however reality kicks in and I find myself on the plane back home. If there was a genuine opportunity I would not get up at silly o’clock to drive to work in the dark, and would certainly sleep till the sun has risen, however reality kicks in and I find myself stuck in traffic as usual. If there was a firm possibility I would not do the shopping after a long day working in the office, and would undoubtedly go straight home to relax, however reality kicks in and I find myself walking around the isles unloading. If there was a real choice one would not go through the legal process to get divorced, and would simply sign the necessary documents and happily move on, however reality kicks in and one has to endure the never ending thread of legal requirements. If there was a genuine opportunity, one would not commit to vacuuming the house after a long day, and would easily sit down on the couch with a glass of wine, however reality kicks in and chores have to be done. If there was a firm possibility one would not go and see the dentist, and would think that toothache would go away, however reality kicks in and one is at the waiting room dreading to be called.
…in the meantime we have to just that accept it is what it is!…
Sometimes, things or life itself can be tough. I do not want to do it, but I know I have to do it, so I will do it! I pluck up the courage so what has to be done gets done. I bite the bullet so what I have to get on with, gets sorted. Always remember that unexpectedly things can change, and you then will not have to endure them anymore, in the meantime we have to just that accept it is what it is!
Jay Cee Moon ©
Jaycee Moon 