It feels like Christmas was yesterday but time flies, doesn’t it! I can believe that it was more than a month ago when we were eating away and celebrating the festivities! It is said that the older one gets the faster time flies, I do not think that I am that old to see time flying by this quickly (like cyberspace ultrasonic speed), someone should give time a speeding ticket! I have not committed myself to another round of a blog a month this year, although I would love to get ten published, which is probably more realistic. I have a few blogs lined up so far, but I am sure that they will be changed as the year evolves. I enjoy thinking, planning and brainstorming topics, ideas, sentences, etc. This has become a way for me to disconnect and get away from mundane tasks. Today is a miserable, damp, cold, windy and dark afternoon, it feels like the countdown for brighter days has stopped. Even though today is the first day of February, with Imbolc now here, which marks the beginning of spring. January has been a tough month, with severe weather conditions: we got snow, ice and extremely low temperatures for over a week, with plenty of heavy rain, followed by a brutal storm called Éowyn, which has become the strongest storm on record for Ireland, with a new record for wind speed at Mace Head of 183 km/h, followed immediately by another storm. As they say, even after the worst storm the sun will shine again, it may take longer than we expected but sunny days will be here soon. As usual, my cupán tae, the candle flickering away, our cat Smudge cuddling next to me, blanket on my knees and my inspiration buzzing away.
We are sometimes so harsh on ourselves when it comes to not fulfilling our own expectations, we are so often so non indulgent when it comes to understanding that life itself can get in the way, we are frequently punishing ourselves when it comes to having let ourselves down. We tend to assume it is not ok not to comply with our plans, commitments, chores, promises or any sort of duties. We tend to believe it is not ok not to do what we are supposed to do, not to do what we are meant to achieve, not to do what we were told to. But believe me, it is ok just to “simply not to”!
It is ok not to have New Year’s resolutions. It is indeed! A new year is a blank book for loads of opportunities, projects and dreams to come true.
It is ok not to go swimming or planned exercise because it is too cold, because you are tired or because you do not feel like it. As simple as that!
It is ok not to get out of bed until after midday on a Saturday, or not to be capable of avoiding going back to bed on Sunday after having had breakfast, or not to be able to stay up till late because you need to be in bed before nine as you have a long day ahead tomorrow. Nothing to feel ashamed of!
It is ok not to feel happy all the time, not to be up for much, not to be willing to leave the house so you can barricade yourself indoors. Sometimes one needs to feel sad, lazy and antisocial. Very understanding to be honest!
It is ok not to feel productive, creative or inspiring. There are times when our body, our mind, our soul burn out and need to pause to recharge. It is perfectly acceptable to take some time to restore yourself!
The guilt, we let embrace us; the shame, we envisage enfolding us; the pity, we empower to judge us. The culpability, we carry on our shoulders; the embarrassment, we stick to our existence; the rancor, we endure in order to redeem ourselves. All these feelings go beyond the limits one should accept, these feelings trespass the threshold of sanity and peace of mind, we become our worst enemies in a war of negative thoughts. And the thing is that once we have crossed this line we are damned to let the dark forces win over who we are. But trust me, it is acceptable just to “simply not to”!
It is ok not to stick to the diet and treat yourself to something nice. It is indeed! Life is too short to suppress those guilty pleasures.
It is ok not to want to talk to anyone, not to be willing to engage with others, not to pick up the phone and answer it. As simple as that!
It is ok not to be feeling like wearing makeup before leaving the house, not to be in the mood for a shower even though you know you should, not to be in the need of washing your hair when it does look messy. Nothing to feel ashamed of!
It is ok not to get out of bed in a hurry because you have lots to do, not to finish that long list of pending tasks that have been around for a while, not to feel like doing the dishes before going to bed because you are wrecked. Very understanding to be honest!
It is ok not to take on that new project as it looks arduous, not to be able to face that conversation as it may drag you down, not to have the strength to deal with that difficult situation. It is perfectly acceptable to distance yourself from what is making you feel too stressed.
At times, we ride on a “merry go round” of self judgement, we find ourselves trapped in a loop of self prejudice, we get lost in a maze of shades of self disregard. Sometimes, we buy ourselves tickets to a self whipping play, we acquire a collection of self loathing manuals, we fill our travel suitcase with self disappointment souvenirs. We then forget that it is ok not to, and there is no need to feel ashamed, sorry or embarrassed.
Whenever you sense you are about to judge yourself, remember that “it is ok no to…”
Jay Cee Moon ©
Jaycee Moon 