Here we go again, I am writing. I am aware that there are no rules except for the ones I set for myself, but last year was very unproductive when it came to writing. Therefore, I am determined to get a blog post out once per month this year. I did not publish anything in January or February but so far in March this year I have already gotten two out, which means there is a third one needed, hence me working on this blog. I know there is no obligation for me to follow my plans, but now that I have managed to get back to writing and letting my inspiration flow I want to stick to my twelve blogs for 2024, at least! The hardest part was getting back to finding a topic and starting to put my thoughts in writing. Plenty of ideas up there waiting to be released. It is a cold but beautiful early spring evening, it has been raining, however the sun is shining now. My usual cupán tae, a candle on the table flickering to the sunlight, my words and I. Let’s give my inspiration a chance to shine!
At some point last year, after meeting with a good friend of mine from my university years, I decided that wearing black or dark colours most of the time was not right for me.She was so confident in her own skin, she was wearing bright colours and not trying to disguise her figure at all, she looked stunning, she had that unique confidence glow. The darker scale of tones had become some sort of shield to hide my faults, to hide myself, to hide who I am. My body has definitely changed, due to age and other circumstances, unfortunately it will not be the same again but I now find it pointless to wrap myself in dull, gloomy, dim, lightless, cheerless, lifeless colours. Camouflaging behind blacks and greys is an easy way not to accept who you are. Our society, social media, as well as fashion trends are still too focused and anchored on perfect bodies, on perfect hairstyles, on perfect skin complexions. The thing is that in reality they only represent a minority, since the majority are nowhere near to those standards. I am the majority. So, I made a commitment to get myself out of the black. Pink is now one of my favourite colours, followed by light greens and light blues. I love pink, it enhances my beauty, it highlights my look, it empowers my “Brave” look. Whenever I go clothes shopping I simply look for those colours, it has been working out pretty well.
There are those who, by using the “I want the best for you” card, think they are entitled to judge you, not the best for me obviously. They are the ones who dare to suggest that you wear baggy clothes so you can hide your imperfections perfectly. They are the ones who negatively comment on that new top you proudly bought the other day by saying it does not suit you. They are the ones who strongly disagree with that tiny bit of cleavage being shown as it is not appropriate. They are the ones who are eager to comment on your hair cut and colour just even before welcoming you in. They are the ones who will refuse to accept that the woolly hat and scarf you are wearing go well with each other. They are the ones who are only happy when you wear what they got you for your birthday, since they know what it suits you best.The thing is that they do not realise that they are the ones who ruin your self esteem, the ones who feed your insecurities, the ones who make you feel so unpretty, the ones who make you go backwards on your battle with your own gremlins, the ones who simply help you to dislike yourself more. Caring people can be very cruel even though they do not realise.
A few days ago, just before my big birthday, I treated myself to a shopping session, accompanied by my partner and my second mum (one of my aunts in her eighties). As soon as I walked into the shop I scanned for pinks, light blues and light greens. I ended up bringing twenty pieces of clothes into the fitting room, with a couple of additions from my aunty and the shop assistant which were not in those colours. Let the fun begin, I said to myself. After discarding half of them, I asked my partner to take pictures of the ten left (different shades of blues, greens, pinks, reds, and whites) so I could see myself. When I saw myself in the pictures I couldn’t believe my eyes: I looked so pretty, so different, so confident, simply stunning in my new favourite shade of tones. It was a great idea to have pictures taken since the reflection on the mirror does not show the real look. You could see that the dark blue top I had tried was simply too dark ! Guess what? The five winners were: two pink tops (one lighter than the other), a light blue long top, and a light green jacket and top. My new palette of colours when it comes to clothing does really suit me. The next step is to be confident to actually wear them. Happy to be out of the black tough!
My learned piece of advice: life is too short to be hiding behind dark colours. There are plenty of other options out there which will enhance your own beauty so you can shine. Give yourself a chance to glow, you deserve it. We are all pretty in one way or another, it is up to us to be brave enough to free ourselves from those gremlins so everyone can see the gleam in our eyes.
Simply be you, do not let others judge you by any means. Never forget your own uniqueness. Just get yourself out of the black!
Jay Cee Moon ©
Jaycee Moon 